Comments & Ratings
||Dec 24, 2006||At first I thought some epileptic kid wrote this, but slowly I realized that it was looking through the eyes of a zombie with a split personality. Overall, pretty good, and please finish it.|
||Dec 5, 2006||Nice job. I liked how gruesome it was and the use of images. It was a 6-7 quality story but you got bonus points for the great topic.|
||Jun 21, 2005||I can't believe that hardly anyone rated this higher than 6-7. I thought it was great idea and you do get very interested reading this story. There seem to be a lot of complaints about the begining rooms not being all together but I thought it made it more interesting with the clicking lol. The one thing I really do think you should change is the choice of going back to the park remaining two rooms ahead of the original choice... I mean when you can't turn back, that's what makes CYOA stories what they are... makes them more fun and risky.|
||Jun 15, 2005||Good idea. Very depressing, and I liked that part of it. The only problem that after you make a choice there is almost a constant "Are you sure?" type of thing going on. Just make the choice and write the story.|
||Feb 27, 2005||
I would have prefered 6.5 because I'm fussy, but I'm also feeling generous today, so enjoy your seven!|
It's a pretty good story, I guess. Cliched and cheesy, and the repetition gets slightly irritating, but it;s still pretty good. I like the idea as well. More commas or periods needed, otherwise reading becomes a drag. You should be able to read it aloud without hyperventillating.
||Feb 26, 2005|
||Feb 26, 2005||It was a good idea, but you bundle too much info into one sentence without using commas.|
||Feb 26, 2005||
You do draw the reader in with the madness. But this isn't a real CYOA. It starts out with 3 turn overs. Combine those rooms.|
I then proceeded to the hospital instead of the park. However, this turned out not to be CYOA either. I could continue in the hospital (1 choice) or go to the park (1 choice). Since this was in another part, it's still really 1 choice/room.
||Feb 25, 2005||Theres something about Phaleg?|