The Aftermath

Written by Phaleg / NR: Not Rated /

(8)

Comments & Ratings

Author	Rating	Date	Comment
neon725		Dec 24, 2006	At first I thought some epileptic kid wrote this, but slowly I realized that it was looking through the eyes of a zombie with a split personality. Overall, pretty good, and please finish it. by neon725 on Dec 24, 2006
apotheosis		Dec 5, 2006	Nice job. I liked how gruesome it was and the use of images. It was a 6-7 quality story but you got bonus points for the great topic. by apotheosis on Dec 5, 2006
YazZMaN		Jun 21, 2005	I can't believe that hardly anyone rated this higher than 6-7. I thought it was great idea and you do get very interested reading this story. There seem to be a lot of complaints about the begining rooms not being all together but I thought it made it more interesting with the clicking lol. The one thing I really do think you should change is the choice of going back to the park remaining two rooms ahead of the original choice... I mean when you can't turn back, that's what makes CYOA stories what they are... makes them more fun and risky. by YazZMaN on Jun 21, 2005
donteatpoop		Jun 15, 2005	Good idea. Very depressing, and I liked that part of it. The only problem that after you make a choice there is almost a constant "Are you sure?" type of thing going on. Just make the choice and write the story. by donteatpoop on Jun 15, 2005
TheKoolAidGuy		Feb 27, 2005	I would have prefered 6.5 because I'm fussy, but I'm also feeling generous today, so enjoy your seven! It's a pretty good story, I guess. Cliched and cheesy, and the repetition gets slightly irritating, but it;s still pretty good. I like the idea as well. More commas or periods needed, otherwise reading becomes a drag. You should be able to read it aloud without hyperventillating. by TheKoolAidGuy on Feb 27, 2005
ChubbyTeletubby		Feb 26, 2005	by ChubbyTeletubby on Feb 26, 2005
ZavuSilverlight		Feb 26, 2005	It was a good idea, but you bundle too much info into one sentence without using commas. by ZavuSilverlight on Feb 26, 2005
jeffisthebest		Feb 26, 2005	You do draw the reader in with the madness. But this isn't a real CYOA. It starts out with 3 turn overs. Combine those rooms. I then proceeded to the hospital instead of the park. However, this turned out not to be CYOA either. I could continue in the hospital (1 choice) or go to the park (1 choice). Since this was in another part, it's still really 1 choice/room. by jeffisthebest on Feb 26, 2005
Phaleg		Feb 25, 2005	Theres something about Phaleg? by Phaleg on Feb 25, 2005