Breath of fire 1

Written by battyramj / NR: Not Rated / 6.50 (2 ratings) (2)
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Comments & Ratings

Author Rating Date Comment
ZavuSilverlight
ZavuSilverlight		 Feb 28, 2005
I liked the use of money and experience etc. This was good even if it wasn't a slight rip off of Faridell(who'd ya rip that off then Fc huh.. :) ). The only downside is it's too much to write down if the story doesn't draw you in straight away. I read the first few bits and when it got to writing all that down, I thought forget it. Still it's your first story and I still congratulate you for converting an RPG into a CYOA.
by ZavuSilverlight on Feb 28, 2005
jeffisthebest
jeffisthebest		 Feb 24, 2005
If this wasn't your first story, 5.5

Much to say:

You had a few typos, but I don't care about that, but I do care about grammar, and it was pretty bad.

Also, if you're going to write a "stat story," you're going to need way more than 20 rooms. I assume you will improve on this, however.

Most importantly, all the action happened way too fast. You didn't explain the combat well. I want some descriptions!!!

I look forward o Breath of Fire 2.
by jeffisthebest on Feb 24, 2005

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