Comments & Ratings
||Feb 26, 2007||
Awesome idea. Only wish it was longer.|
||Nov 10, 2006|
||Aug 7, 2005||
Blindingly arbitrary, this could have been done much better. It was like reading something out of Reader's Digest true life stories... that is, if they let kids with A.D.D. author any contributions (not likely).|
How can you spell Antarctic wrong and then right in the same paragraph?
||Jul 21, 2005||
The best 3rd person story on this site. 3rd person stories are hard to write choices to without sounding completely unnatural. JudgeWall found a very simple solution to this problem. "Should he:" Very nice.|
One critisizm, if I may: The dog, the dog, the dog. Just to avoid repitition, try, the dog, the canine, it, etc. Same deal for the main characters: Davidson, Davidson etc. Try to establish things like Davidsons dark hair (Does he have dark hair, I dont know just go with it), you could start alternating between Davidson, the dark haired man, the young crew member. That type of thing.
Overall, very good story.
||Jul 20, 2005|