The Thing Revisited

Written by JudgeWall / NR: Not Rated / 8.60 (5 ratings) (5)
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Comments & Ratings

Author Rating Date Comment
Vash
Vash		 Feb 26, 2007
Awesome idea. Only wish it was longer.
And finished.
by Vash on Feb 26, 2007
CaptainEgo
CaptainEgo		 Nov 10, 2006
by CaptainEgo on Nov 10, 2006
michaelrayholt
michaelrayholt		 Aug 7, 2005
Blindingly arbitrary, this could have been done much better. It was like reading something out of Reader's Digest true life stories... that is, if they let kids with A.D.D. author any contributions (not likely).

How can you spell Antarctic wrong and then right in the same paragraph?
by michaelrayholt on Aug 7, 2005
donteatpoop
donteatpoop		 Jul 21, 2005
The best 3rd person story on this site. 3rd person stories are hard to write choices to without sounding completely unnatural. JudgeWall found a very simple solution to this problem. "Should he:" Very nice.

One critisizm, if I may: The dog, the dog, the dog. Just to avoid repitition, try, the dog, the canine, it, etc. Same deal for the main characters: Davidson, Davidson etc. Try to establish things like Davidsons dark hair (Does he have dark hair, I dont know just go with it), you could start alternating between Davidson, the dark haired man, the young crew member. That type of thing.

Overall, very good story.
by donteatpoop on Jul 21, 2005
ChubbyTeletubby
ChubbyTeletubby		 Jul 20, 2005
Okay, this is obviously a well thought out story, but I still have a couple criticisms.

#1:
by ChubbyTeletubby on Jul 20, 2005

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