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Comments & Ratings

Author Rating Date Comment
Amonite
Amonite
Nov 3, 2019
The concept of the story is pretty fun - a teenager obtains a banned device that can transform things. But the science fiction aspect and any potential for interesting hi-jinks is pretty much subverted by the fact the main character doesn't even bother to lock his door before trying it out. The plot is pretty limited and short, accordingly, and is mostly a comedy of errors where things go wrong.

Some of the pages were pretty long considering the story itself only goes on for a few choices. Perhaps separating them out and giving more choices would have allowed more directions for this story to go in.

The oddest part, for me, was how the choices were written themselves. E.g. they were not so much choices the character makes ("you do this") but plot choices ("this happens next".) This took much of the fun out of it since there was no sense of my choices really mattering much and there was usually a spoiler/hint about what would happen if I changed the plot a certain way.

For the most part, it is written well, though some of the juvenile speech is annoying and there is a lot of exposition on the front end about getting the device. (Expanding the plot to obtaining the device might have been fun.)
by Amonite on Nov 3, 2019
Faust
Faust
Jul 24, 2019
by Faust on Jul 24, 2019
littlesnack
littlesnack
Feb 9, 2017
incredible. love transformation
by littlesnack on Feb 9, 2017
tinyhuman
tinyhuman
Feb 8, 2017
by tinyhuman on Feb 8, 2017

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