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The lurker

Written by joke12345 / NR: Not Rated / 7.50 (2 ratings) (2)
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Comments & Ratings

Author Rating Date Comment
hahahahahaha
hahahahahaha		 Mar 14, 2017
When I read the first and second rooms, at first i was a little confused. Just because I would of explained things a little clearer. Like, why does he need to get information out of people? What is he looking for? Why does he have an ATV in the sewers? Why wouldn't you die after jumping off a 25 feet building? Is he some kind of superhero? cause that would be kinda cool depending on what you want the reader to like the main character or not? But I read on a little and i guess things become a little better. Some background information would of been nice. But if that was the whole point then I get it. I thought you described the characters are places pretty well. Who's "Pronto" the Spanish dude?
I really liked the part where he fights. It was cool how you could decide to punch kick or block. You literally fought for him, kinda. But i liked that part. I also liked the ending.
- proofread
-----Hahahahahaha
by hahahahahaha on Mar 14, 2017
Gamingx24
Gamingx24		 Mar 14, 2017
There's a point of view problem in the beginning,here are quotes from the story.
"New yorkers gave him the name of the NYC demon. No one knew of his past or his plan for the criminals that disappear, they only see a giant monster."
"You laugh at what people think of you. A monster, a devil, a man with a death wish. You know they are all wrong."
"You just came in from a daily hunt and brought in 3 thugs. You know you are getting closer and closer to the mob lord. He has been your prey ever since you first started hunting. You need to get some information out of them a easy and fun way or the brutal way."

I don't know if I'm The NYC Demon or a cop.

I don't know if the lurker (the NYC Demon) is a good guy or bad guy. He seems like a bad guy at first,but later on he stars hunting after a drug dealer(s)
for example how in the beginning We're told that people are afraid of him, then he starts interrogating 3 thugs and starts going after the drug dealer's.

The Story is ok
by Gamingx24 on Mar 14, 2017

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