Comments & Ratings
|Having poked around through the paths a little more, I've gone ahead and given it a higher rating. I still feel it moves way too rapidly, especially in the beginning when you usually want to establish a few details about the setting or the character to catch a reader's attention, but this may be more an issue of personal taste--I prefer a CYOA to read more like a story in a book, with the reader getting to direct it at key points. Still, spelling, grammar and all is fine and there are plenty of choices, so either way it succeeds more as a CYOA than many stories here and I hope you continue to add to it.|
I was moreover thinking of this to be a simple, influenced storyline. I don't recommend this story to you if you enjoy a large amount of text before making choices, because it's kind of time-consuming to read a lot of detail and then making choices that don't make a subtle difference, in my opinion.
I do understand that many people probably think different, and so I created a short introduction at the beginning. I greatly appreciate the fact that you left a comment and rated how it failed to meet good standards in your opinion, that means a lot.
To conclude, perhaps you could tell me one of the stories that you think are well-created, and I'll try and improve using that.
I got absolutely no explanation of who the character was, what was going on or why I should care, and then I was randomly run over by a truck.|
This could really be fleshed out with more details, description, anything. I'm sure it was all very exciting in your head but we can't read your mind, all we have to go with is the imagery and action you actually write down, and every page was so short, there's almost nothing here.