Hall of Infinite Doors
You were the kid who always had the answer in school. You were the kid who tried a little of everything. Later on, you were the older kid who tried a little of everyone. It seems only natural that now you are the full-grown idiot whose hand is flapping through the air as you shout, "Over here! Over heeeere!"
It works.
The Muffinman spots you immediately, smiling at your unique enthusiasm as he calls out in a booming voice, "Yes! Will our non-confectionery young visitor on the right please step up to the stage!"
He hasn't finished speaking before you are out of your seat, bounding down the aisle and suddenly standing beside him, smiling out at all the stoic gingerfaces in the audience. It is only once you have caught your breath that you notice a strange acrid smell emanating from the Muffinman. Examining his starchy muffin cup a bit more closely, you notice the tip of a flask peeping out between the crinkles. Whatever is inside it is so strong and vile, you can actually see the vapors diffusing into the air. You begin to feel nauseous and you wonder if this was such a good idea after all.
After a few more words, the heavy red curtain swings shut in front of you and the Muffinman. You hear a shuffle of delicate feet behind you. Glancing quickly over your shoulder, you see a flurry of chocolate babies. They are setting up a most unusual scene, strewn with fiery streamers,a low primitive drumbeat rising up slowly from the ground. You notice that one particularly diminutive chocolate baby has been chained in place near the faux fire. She shivers with fright, jerking her head frantically in all directions.
The Muffin Man whispers something into your ear.
No! That couldn't be! Not in a place as genteel as Gingerbread Land! Your eyes go marshmallow-wide and you are about to make a quick escape, but alas, it is too late.
The curtain swoops violently open. The Muffin Man takes a deep drink from his flask. He grabs onto the microphone stand as the red spotlight finds him, bathing him in a bloody glow.
"And now!" he screeches into the microphone, sending the entire hellish chorus of gingerbread faces wincing backwards against their seats, "The moment you have all been waiting for!"
It works.
The Muffinman spots you immediately, smiling at your unique enthusiasm as he calls out in a booming voice, "Yes! Will our non-confectionery young visitor on the right please step up to the stage!"
He hasn't finished speaking before you are out of your seat, bounding down the aisle and suddenly standing beside him, smiling out at all the stoic gingerfaces in the audience. It is only once you have caught your breath that you notice a strange acrid smell emanating from the Muffinman. Examining his starchy muffin cup a bit more closely, you notice the tip of a flask peeping out between the crinkles. Whatever is inside it is so strong and vile, you can actually see the vapors diffusing into the air. You begin to feel nauseous and you wonder if this was such a good idea after all.
After a few more words, the heavy red curtain swings shut in front of you and the Muffinman. You hear a shuffle of delicate feet behind you. Glancing quickly over your shoulder, you see a flurry of chocolate babies. They are setting up a most unusual scene, strewn with fiery streamers,a low primitive drumbeat rising up slowly from the ground. You notice that one particularly diminutive chocolate baby has been chained in place near the faux fire. She shivers with fright, jerking her head frantically in all directions.
The Muffin Man whispers something into your ear.
No! That couldn't be! Not in a place as genteel as Gingerbread Land! Your eyes go marshmallow-wide and you are about to make a quick escape, but alas, it is too late.
The curtain swoops violently open. The Muffin Man takes a deep drink from his flask. He grabs onto the microphone stand as the red spotlight finds him, bathing him in a bloody glow.
"And now!" he screeches into the microphone, sending the entire hellish chorus of gingerbread faces wincing backwards against their seats, "The moment you have all been waiting for!"