Huzaah Of Hudi-Blee-Blah

Sicne radioactivity always turns you into spiderman, just liek on TV which is always real, you eat the batteries. You are given superhuman powers and can shoot silly string out of your pinkey. You can also devour entire blocks of cheese in one gulp Sadly, these are the only powers you get. You go on through life trying to save people and stop crime with your silly powers, but manage to save no one. In fact 400 people die, JUST because you tried to help. You live most of the end of your life in solitude waiting for a sequal, but none come. Your life is over.