My New Bike
Your conscience eventually gets the best of you, and you decide to go check on the old lady you just ran over in your all of your haste to get home. Her little mangy dog yips and growls as you approach, but you're not scared of the little fur-ball.
You dismount your shiny new bike, carefully set the kick-stand, and walk over to the elderly woman. "Hey lady," you say, looking down at her with a dumbfounded look on your face. "You okay?" She doesn't answer. She mostly just foams at the mouth and twitches spasmodically. Kinda reminds you of that time you took your goldfish out of it's tank to play with your hamster. Uh-oh. Then she starts making weird noises.
You scratch your head, unsure of what to do, and again ask the irrelevant question, "Are you okay?" The little annoying dog, meanwhile, continues it's incessant barking. You look around nervously. Luckily, there's nobody nearby. Cars zoom by on the road beside you, but no one seems to be paying you any heed.
"Hey lady, shut up!" you utter with disdain. "Quit making weird noises!" Old people piss you off sometimes. Darn. You're going to get in trouble for this. Your mom will probably ground you from riding your bike for a whole week! Unless...
Unless nobody finds out, that is! You spot a nearby rock, and a brilliant idea enters your tweaky little pre-pubescent noggin. Wasting no further time you manage to pick the rock up and hoist it above your head. Then, in one fell move, you hurtle it down upon the prone woman's cranium - silencing her forever. Brain matter bursts out of her head and cover's the sidewalk.
You wince. Well, at least she wont tell on you! Yay! You quickly jump back onto your back and speed off down the sidewalk once again, blazing a reckless trail home.
Amazingly, and against all odds, you eventually reach your house. And just in time for dinner too! While you're gathered around the dinner table, you can hear the TV in the other room. The news is on.
"...in other news, an elderly woman was found dead today. Police suspect foul play. Witnesses say a young boy riding a black bike was seen in the area during the..." You nearly choke on the food in your mouth. No one else in your family seems to notice the news report, however.
Darn. What are you going to do?
You dismount your shiny new bike, carefully set the kick-stand, and walk over to the elderly woman. "Hey lady," you say, looking down at her with a dumbfounded look on your face. "You okay?" She doesn't answer. She mostly just foams at the mouth and twitches spasmodically. Kinda reminds you of that time you took your goldfish out of it's tank to play with your hamster. Uh-oh. Then she starts making weird noises.
You scratch your head, unsure of what to do, and again ask the irrelevant question, "Are you okay?" The little annoying dog, meanwhile, continues it's incessant barking. You look around nervously. Luckily, there's nobody nearby. Cars zoom by on the road beside you, but no one seems to be paying you any heed.
"Hey lady, shut up!" you utter with disdain. "Quit making weird noises!" Old people piss you off sometimes. Darn. You're going to get in trouble for this. Your mom will probably ground you from riding your bike for a whole week! Unless...
Unless nobody finds out, that is! You spot a nearby rock, and a brilliant idea enters your tweaky little pre-pubescent noggin. Wasting no further time you manage to pick the rock up and hoist it above your head. Then, in one fell move, you hurtle it down upon the prone woman's cranium - silencing her forever. Brain matter bursts out of her head and cover's the sidewalk.
You wince. Well, at least she wont tell on you! Yay! You quickly jump back onto your back and speed off down the sidewalk once again, blazing a reckless trail home.
Amazingly, and against all odds, you eventually reach your house. And just in time for dinner too! While you're gathered around the dinner table, you can hear the TV in the other room. The news is on.
"...in other news, an elderly woman was found dead today. Police suspect foul play. Witnesses say a young boy riding a black bike was seen in the area during the..." You nearly choke on the food in your mouth. No one else in your family seems to notice the news report, however.
Darn. What are you going to do?