Alpha Wolf
Nope you were here to help Kong and that's what you're going to do, for good or bad.
"See? See what I'm saying Nancy? You're doing it again! You're falling for the romantic bit. Ymir's just saying all that shit to get on your good side."
"You think so?"
"Hell yeah! A lot of guys do it; you should know that by now! Look, I've used the same damn routine on several occasions until I just got too fucking lazy and decided it was too much trouble!"
"I suppose you're right, but why would he be too shy to show up? Surely it can't all be an act."
"Hey, guy can do anything to get the pussy. Of course maybe it isn't an act, and he's just a creepy stalker type. You ever think of that? Maybe hiding and secretly spying on you! He is smaller than you, you know."
Nancy looks a bit worried by that revelation.
"Eek! I never even thought of that!"
"See? That's why you shouldn't even consider getting with Ymir and should go back with Kong, at least you know where you stand with him."
"Maybe but what about Glenn?"
"What?! Hell no! You don't want him, he's a fucking nutball! Maybe Kong's not the most sensitive, but at least you can reason with him. He can't be all bad; you have stayed married all these years."
"I guess you're right. Maybe I overreacted okay you can tell Kong he can come back, but he's going to have to stop saying some of the shit he says to me!"
"I'll tell him."
Nancy puts you back on the floor and opens the door for you to leave. You get back on your bike and ride back home to where Kong is munching on some leaves in a bored fashion.
"Hey Kong what the fuck man? You eat every leaf in the fucking forest?"
"Just the ones in the immediate area what? I was hungry!"
"Well, you can get yourself a home cooked meal now, Nancy's willing to take you back, BUT you need to at least act a little less like an asshole. Tell her you love her and all that shit every now and then."
"Aw man "
"Jesus fuckin' Christ Kong it ain't that hard! Hell she's doing everything for your broke ass. I wish I was that fuckin' lucky! You oughta be a little bit appreciative! She's got other giants after her already."
"What?! Oh shit! I guess I better watch myself."
"Guess you better, okay then off you go."
"Hey thanks Wolf, I won't forget this, when Nancy gives me my weekly allowance I'll make sure to have a check sent to you."
He takes his leave and you head back home, not really expecting anything from Kong, a few days later when you're dreading having to take that comic convention job, you get a check in the mail, its from Kong just like he promised.
Hooray, you can avoid being a guest speaker for a bunch of nerds for at least another year!
"See? See what I'm saying Nancy? You're doing it again! You're falling for the romantic bit. Ymir's just saying all that shit to get on your good side."
"You think so?"
"Hell yeah! A lot of guys do it; you should know that by now! Look, I've used the same damn routine on several occasions until I just got too fucking lazy and decided it was too much trouble!"
"I suppose you're right, but why would he be too shy to show up? Surely it can't all be an act."
"Hey, guy can do anything to get the pussy. Of course maybe it isn't an act, and he's just a creepy stalker type. You ever think of that? Maybe hiding and secretly spying on you! He is smaller than you, you know."
Nancy looks a bit worried by that revelation.
"Eek! I never even thought of that!"
"See? That's why you shouldn't even consider getting with Ymir and should go back with Kong, at least you know where you stand with him."
"Maybe but what about Glenn?"
"What?! Hell no! You don't want him, he's a fucking nutball! Maybe Kong's not the most sensitive, but at least you can reason with him. He can't be all bad; you have stayed married all these years."
"I guess you're right. Maybe I overreacted okay you can tell Kong he can come back, but he's going to have to stop saying some of the shit he says to me!"
"I'll tell him."
Nancy puts you back on the floor and opens the door for you to leave. You get back on your bike and ride back home to where Kong is munching on some leaves in a bored fashion.
"Hey Kong what the fuck man? You eat every leaf in the fucking forest?"
"Just the ones in the immediate area what? I was hungry!"
"Well, you can get yourself a home cooked meal now, Nancy's willing to take you back, BUT you need to at least act a little less like an asshole. Tell her you love her and all that shit every now and then."
"Aw man "
"Jesus fuckin' Christ Kong it ain't that hard! Hell she's doing everything for your broke ass. I wish I was that fuckin' lucky! You oughta be a little bit appreciative! She's got other giants after her already."
"What?! Oh shit! I guess I better watch myself."
"Guess you better, okay then off you go."
"Hey thanks Wolf, I won't forget this, when Nancy gives me my weekly allowance I'll make sure to have a check sent to you."
He takes his leave and you head back home, not really expecting anything from Kong, a few days later when you're dreading having to take that comic convention job, you get a check in the mail, its from Kong just like he promised.
Hooray, you can avoid being a guest speaker for a bunch of nerds for at least another year!
