Reunion
You decide that it would be best to allow the Mummy to sleep, no need to disturb his peaceful slumber. You watch as Dracula goes to the bar and tries to order drinks. You laugh inwardly as one of the gays at the bar slaps his ass. Damned if that vampire wasn't doing his best to get some free beer.
A few minutes pass and the jukebox suddenly starts to play a Nine Inch Nails song that was selected from one of Dracula's "leads". The moment the song begins, the doors to the bar open and in walk your monster friends, freshly baked from partaking in their endevors out back.
They come down and sit at the table, Wolfman almost sitting on top of you. They smell like they just got back from a Snoop Dogg/Cypress Hill concert and their eyes are glazed over like a bunch of silver screen movie monsters who just went out back to smoke pot behind a queer bar. They are jolly and laughing, and clearly stoned off thier rockers.
Moments later, Dracula returns will a New Castles ale for you and a wine for himself. At least you think it's wine, he is a vampire afterall...
Anyway, everyone is bullshitting in one of those loud uproarious conversations where the rest of the bar has to talk louder just to be heard. Somehow or other your fellow monsters get on the subject of girls.
"I like a hairy woman," says the Wolfman, "hairy legs, hairy arms, harry ass... I like it if I have to caugh up a hairball when I'm done eating her out."
"That's disgusting," you say to the Wolfman. He shrugs his shoulders and sips from his beer.
Everyone else has pretty normal taste, some interested in breasts and others into the rears, and then Dracula speaks and the incessant chatter and deafening noise suddenly stops.
"I like a bitch vhen she's on her period." He says, that's when the talk stops and the bar goes silent... Not that that stops Dracula from continuing.
"That's the best time to eat pussy, when it's a bloody gory mess. Lapping my tongue around down there and sucking down the combination of pussy juice and plasma. Ohhhhh yeah."
Silence. The bar is pure silence.
Frankenstein leans to the side and begins vomiting on the floor.
"What the fuck, Dracula?!" Wolfman says, "You're fucking nasty! No one wants to hear about that kind of shit!! Jesus, man! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
"Vhat?" He says, clearly surprised that no one else finds his sexual inclinations arousing. "Blood and pussy? It doesn't get any better than that."
Having heard this, you drink one long pull from your draft and set down your empty glass. "Okay," you say, "I'm leaving."
With that, you turn around and make your way to the doors. If ever there was a cue to leave a reunion party, Dracula just gave you it. You were never one to miss your cues, even if no one ever sees you make it.
Dracula is a sick fucking bastard, and that's all there is to it.
A few minutes pass and the jukebox suddenly starts to play a Nine Inch Nails song that was selected from one of Dracula's "leads". The moment the song begins, the doors to the bar open and in walk your monster friends, freshly baked from partaking in their endevors out back.
They come down and sit at the table, Wolfman almost sitting on top of you. They smell like they just got back from a Snoop Dogg/Cypress Hill concert and their eyes are glazed over like a bunch of silver screen movie monsters who just went out back to smoke pot behind a queer bar. They are jolly and laughing, and clearly stoned off thier rockers.
Moments later, Dracula returns will a New Castles ale for you and a wine for himself. At least you think it's wine, he is a vampire afterall...
Anyway, everyone is bullshitting in one of those loud uproarious conversations where the rest of the bar has to talk louder just to be heard. Somehow or other your fellow monsters get on the subject of girls.
"I like a hairy woman," says the Wolfman, "hairy legs, hairy arms, harry ass... I like it if I have to caugh up a hairball when I'm done eating her out."
"That's disgusting," you say to the Wolfman. He shrugs his shoulders and sips from his beer.
Everyone else has pretty normal taste, some interested in breasts and others into the rears, and then Dracula speaks and the incessant chatter and deafening noise suddenly stops.
"I like a bitch vhen she's on her period." He says, that's when the talk stops and the bar goes silent... Not that that stops Dracula from continuing.
"That's the best time to eat pussy, when it's a bloody gory mess. Lapping my tongue around down there and sucking down the combination of pussy juice and plasma. Ohhhhh yeah."
Silence. The bar is pure silence.
Frankenstein leans to the side and begins vomiting on the floor.
"What the fuck, Dracula?!" Wolfman says, "You're fucking nasty! No one wants to hear about that kind of shit!! Jesus, man! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
"Vhat?" He says, clearly surprised that no one else finds his sexual inclinations arousing. "Blood and pussy? It doesn't get any better than that."
Having heard this, you drink one long pull from your draft and set down your empty glass. "Okay," you say, "I'm leaving."
With that, you turn around and make your way to the doors. If ever there was a cue to leave a reunion party, Dracula just gave you it. You were never one to miss your cues, even if no one ever sees you make it.
Dracula is a sick fucking bastard, and that's all there is to it.
