TRASH
"Will you leave me the fuck alone? I know what the hell I'm doin'!" going back to chopping up the pig.
"NO YOU DON'T!" Junior says and starts heading towards you.
"Look you oh shit!" you say turning around, but you accidentally hit Junior with the chainsaw!
"AARRRGH!" Junior falls on the ground holding his stomach.
"Shit, shit! Hold on I'll get help!" you shout and go running to look for Clem.
When you find Clem you tell him that Junior hurt himself really bad with the chainsaw, he gets very worried.
"You just left him there!? You dumb shit!"
"What the fuck, I ain't a doctor! I figured you'd know what to do!"
"Yeah, we gotta get him the hell outta there! He's been killin' pigs all his life; you got any idea what they'll do to him now that they sense he's vulnerable? They'll kill him!"
"What? You can't be serious! Besides the pens are locked!"
Regardless you and Clem run back to the slaughter house and are welcomed by a grisly site. Pen doors are broken off the hinges, and pigs are ripping Junior's now lifeless body apart and gobbling it down. They look in your direction
"Just back away slowly Mel." Clem says, as you both back off. Clem locks the door.
"Aw shit, no. I dunno what I'm gonna tell Bertha!"
"If I'd known they'd do that Clem "
"No, no it's alright, it was an accident. It was bound to happen with as much time as Junior spent in there. (Sigh) This is really gonna hurt business though, Junior was really good at the job. Hey you don't wanna take over do ya?"
"No." you say decisively. "So what about those pigs in there?"
"Oh I'll probably wait until night when they're fast asleep and go in with my shot gun and kill 'em all. No point in taking chances. The buckshot's gonna ruin the meat though. Damn I'm takin a hit on this; I don't think I can pay you. Shit, don't take this the wrong way, but I should fuckin' sue you, but I know you ain't got nuthin!"
You can tell Clem's getting madder, so you take this opportunity to leave before he changes his mind. You drive home thinking how lucky you were. You dodged a manslaughter charge AND a lawsuit. You only wish you had some money to celebrate appropriately. You decide to press your luck more and steal some beer out of the liquor store. Actually you just drink it right there in the store. Fortunately the store owner is more annoyed than angry and just throws you out instead of calling the cops. The joke's on him though you managed to sneak out a bottle of Johnny Walker!
By the time Tina gets home, you're feeling pretty good and wearing nothing but your underwear as Lynyrd Skynyrd plays loudly in the background.
"Turn that fuckin' shit down! So what's the fuckin' celebration? Or are you just getting' blitzed again for no particular reason?"
You go up to Tina and begin grabbing on to her, and rubbing up against her in an obviously horny manner.
"Baby, I just avoided three strikes and now I wanna hit a home fuckin' run. Woo hoo!"
"NO YOU DON'T!" Junior says and starts heading towards you.
"Look you oh shit!" you say turning around, but you accidentally hit Junior with the chainsaw!
"AARRRGH!" Junior falls on the ground holding his stomach.
"Shit, shit! Hold on I'll get help!" you shout and go running to look for Clem.
When you find Clem you tell him that Junior hurt himself really bad with the chainsaw, he gets very worried.
"You just left him there!? You dumb shit!"
"What the fuck, I ain't a doctor! I figured you'd know what to do!"
"Yeah, we gotta get him the hell outta there! He's been killin' pigs all his life; you got any idea what they'll do to him now that they sense he's vulnerable? They'll kill him!"
"What? You can't be serious! Besides the pens are locked!"
Regardless you and Clem run back to the slaughter house and are welcomed by a grisly site. Pen doors are broken off the hinges, and pigs are ripping Junior's now lifeless body apart and gobbling it down. They look in your direction
"Just back away slowly Mel." Clem says, as you both back off. Clem locks the door.
"Aw shit, no. I dunno what I'm gonna tell Bertha!"
"If I'd known they'd do that Clem "
"No, no it's alright, it was an accident. It was bound to happen with as much time as Junior spent in there. (Sigh) This is really gonna hurt business though, Junior was really good at the job. Hey you don't wanna take over do ya?"
"No." you say decisively. "So what about those pigs in there?"
"Oh I'll probably wait until night when they're fast asleep and go in with my shot gun and kill 'em all. No point in taking chances. The buckshot's gonna ruin the meat though. Damn I'm takin a hit on this; I don't think I can pay you. Shit, don't take this the wrong way, but I should fuckin' sue you, but I know you ain't got nuthin!"
You can tell Clem's getting madder, so you take this opportunity to leave before he changes his mind. You drive home thinking how lucky you were. You dodged a manslaughter charge AND a lawsuit. You only wish you had some money to celebrate appropriately. You decide to press your luck more and steal some beer out of the liquor store. Actually you just drink it right there in the store. Fortunately the store owner is more annoyed than angry and just throws you out instead of calling the cops. The joke's on him though you managed to sneak out a bottle of Johnny Walker!
By the time Tina gets home, you're feeling pretty good and wearing nothing but your underwear as Lynyrd Skynyrd plays loudly in the background.
"Turn that fuckin' shit down! So what's the fuckin' celebration? Or are you just getting' blitzed again for no particular reason?"
You go up to Tina and begin grabbing on to her, and rubbing up against her in an obviously horny manner.
"Baby, I just avoided three strikes and now I wanna hit a home fuckin' run. Woo hoo!"
