The Darragh Man.

Ian paced the club. Oh aye, the beat was slammin'! Ye could feel the neds! Feel the burning! And Ian was having it! Oh he was having it! His pork pie stew was going fir the windae! John isnae pure!

Dee jay. Spots the man. "Ho!" he calls oot. "Ho!" Pure rowing a boat. "IAN!" Who wiz it?

Ian broke wind. So much wind, he was sent to the break.