Entry Number 050603A
"You're awake, hm? I made you breakfast."
A soothing voice called after me, as the lights blurred around my head and made me feel dizzy. I found myself in an unfamiliar bed, rubbing my eyes disdainfully and trying to wipe off the sleepy haze. Somehow, it didn't rub off.
Someone touched me, and it was a nice way. As if they were trying to pull me up. The dark blue blanket found itself on the nest of a bed when thin hands lifted me from the bed, making me question how someone picked me up so easily as if I was a teddy bear.
The woman smiled, curls of hair falling in her eyes and tickling the sides of my face as she pulled me closer. I felt a sudden feeling of happiness wash over me and nest itself in my chest, before it became warmer, and warmer, and hotter.
"Vestar! Vestar, where are you?"
I was coughing, feeling my lungs fill up with smoke as the fire crackled from every side I turned. Suddenly, the bed collapsed and the wood broke in two as it caught in flames, burning quite literally under my feet.
Eyes closed, I ran blindly through the fires, looking for someone, something. I continued coughing up a storm, listening to that echoing voice call for me, wail for me. I don't know who that is, but she's calling me. I continue coughing, I continue walking.
It feels like a sudden hit to the head as the fire vapor fills my air tunnels and I gasp for breath, not able to scream or even move. The fire burns bright red around me, licking the walls and turning them a gaudy shade of orange.
I stand as a piece of the wall collapses in front of me, the fear pushing roots through my feet and grounding me in the spot. No exit, no window, no escape. I stare at the inferno around me and tighten the hold on myself, hugging myself as I wait for the fire to engulf me.
I wake up to the sound of a blaring alarm and Millicent's furry tail swishing under my nose, her entire weight royally seated on my chest. I groan, trying to move underneath the heavy sheets and shoo off the cat, grunting lowly. It was a dream.
Many of these have been occurring ever since I met Navaien, ever since I found out about the Kandosii case, ever since I've been worrying myself with Mandiya. They've been haunting me like ghosts and leaving me with a feeling of goosebumps covering my skin every time I wake up.
I roll over successfully to slap the alarm and the bot shuts up, letting me listen to my cat's purrs early in the morning.
Out of the corner of my eye I notice my father, busily reading the early reports on his datapad and walking around with his grey mug of coffee. I smile, watching the ginger pest jump off my chest and immediately curl itself around my father's ankles. It always had an affinity for him, he adopted her after all. Hux only kneeled down to give her a few affectionate scratches behind the ear before he sipped from his mug, tasting the no doubt bland black coffee.
I rolled myself over to the side of the bed and slipped out from under the sheets when I checked my own datapad, scrolling through the notifications and messages until I got to some missed video calls by Rose. Confused, I stared at the three missed messages and noticed she had pre-recorded one for when I wake up. Judging by the time, I had slept through most of the galactic morning and the bot itself turned off the alarms because I wasn’t registering them. Sighing, I left the datapad by my pillow and lazily slid over the cold tiles to the bathroom, running my fingers through my hair.
It’s been a good few months ever since this whole Mandiya thing began, and a lick of sleep hasn’t been had by anyone on the ship. Nonetheless, after opening up to my father about all the information I got from the Weasel, about the supposed Force Sensitive daughter Ren had that was roaming the Galaxy somewhere on her makeshift smuggler ship, I felt a little more at ease. The dreams were unsettling, waking up inside of a dream next to a bleeding Raller or a bonfire resetting your memories to something you couldn’t remember was unsettling. At least I had someone to tell them to now, except for Navaien and Rose. Rose herself left the message considering she had work to be done in the Fire Arms department for most of the day today. One of the cannons broke loose and disintegrated, which was a loss for our left wing.
“Vestar! When you’re finished, I made you breakfast.” My father called, making me feel my stomach churn at the word ‘breakfast’. Hatred has been spiraling inside of me after these dreams have been repeatedly showing up to me, especially considering the fact that both in the real and imaginary world I get offered breakfast I never fully get to eat.
I walked out of the refresher and sat down on one of the chairs beside him, snaking my arms underneath his and pressing my face to his shoulder. I heard him sigh and a small clank of his heavy mug before his empty hand messed up my hair, making me grunt gently.
“Another one of those dreams?” He asked, setting down his still active pad which was broadcasting a live voting inside the Coruscant Senate. I nodded my head a little and moved away from his comforting warmth, touching around the little bits of cereal inside the bowl. Whose idea was it anyway that Darth Vader’s mask would make an appeasing cereal design? I drowned a few ‘Vaders’ inside the milk but I didn’t find the energy in me to actually bring the spoon towards my mouth.
“Rose has been asking me,” He starts, clasping his hands together and resting his chin over them. “She wants a trip to Bight to see Raller.” I crook my brow as I take a small bite of the cereal, feeling the liquid chill my throat and intestines. Strange, isn’t it? Does no one notice the coldness of liquids early in the morning, when your body is so used to have not consumed anything for a few hours? I take another bite.
“If she’s going, Phasma asked me to let you go to.” Hux looks down at his datapad, tightening his hold on his own hands as his knuckles turn white. Is he worried? I set down the spoon to set my hand above his and he smiles a little, teal eyes brightened by a sheen of morning shine.
“I’m responsible. I’ll be fine.” I assure him, feeling the stress course through his veins. His hands soon enclosed over mine, feeling his warmth surround me once again. I smiled.
“I can take care of myself and Frost for that matter. It’s time that I try to work on my own.”
“But you already work on your own.”
I rolled my eyes, and I felt him laugh a little.
“I’m not a child anymore.”
He stared at me, making me feel a little anxious. I hated when he didn’t talk and just looked at me like that, I felt like I had done something wrong.
He pulled me close, wrapping his arms around my torso and placing his head over my shoulder. I relaxed into his touch, feeling the smell of cigarettes in the collar of his pajama. His hands travelled up and down my back, while mine settled on resting over his upper back. I could feel his ribs underneath the cotton shirt, it made me sad. Still, his heartbeat calmed down against me and he breathed quietly, yet I could sense the rasp coming from inhaling nicotine for years.
“You’re still my child.” He whispers, making me close my eyes and revel in the quiet of the room. I swear I could hear a pin drop if it had occurred.
He pulled away, kissing the top of my forehead.
“I’ll be fine.” I said, furrowing the brows as my words got interrupted by the pad from my room interrupting the deafening silence with it’s ringing. It was definitely Rose again, angry that I hadn’t answered her message yet.
I slid out of my father’s reach and took my pad from the bed, sliding the answer button and letting the hologram materialize in front of me. Rose had her hair slicked back, wearing her uniform and behind her I could notice the faint, glitching outlines of officers. She was still in the main control room, overseeing the progress of the Finalizer’s route.
“You’re finally awake,” She says, clearly as if her voice was liquidized glass. So she was sober, which was now a more often occurrence than before. “I need you down in the control rooms. Don’t be late.”
With that, her form disappeared from my vision; the blue hologram wafting into the air like it was smoke.
I needed to talk to Raller about the Kandosii case. But wouldn’t it be smart to see what Navaien thinks of it? I could always ask him through the communicator but Rose will always be near me, I can’t keep it secret that way. She’s already registered that some Larel Imnis talks to me regularly through the comm, this would further make our connection suspicious.
I set the datapad down, looking at the folded uniform on the chair.
A soothing voice called after me, as the lights blurred around my head and made me feel dizzy. I found myself in an unfamiliar bed, rubbing my eyes disdainfully and trying to wipe off the sleepy haze. Somehow, it didn't rub off.
Someone touched me, and it was a nice way. As if they were trying to pull me up. The dark blue blanket found itself on the nest of a bed when thin hands lifted me from the bed, making me question how someone picked me up so easily as if I was a teddy bear.
The woman smiled, curls of hair falling in her eyes and tickling the sides of my face as she pulled me closer. I felt a sudden feeling of happiness wash over me and nest itself in my chest, before it became warmer, and warmer, and hotter.
"Vestar! Vestar, where are you?"
I was coughing, feeling my lungs fill up with smoke as the fire crackled from every side I turned. Suddenly, the bed collapsed and the wood broke in two as it caught in flames, burning quite literally under my feet.
Eyes closed, I ran blindly through the fires, looking for someone, something. I continued coughing up a storm, listening to that echoing voice call for me, wail for me. I don't know who that is, but she's calling me. I continue coughing, I continue walking.
It feels like a sudden hit to the head as the fire vapor fills my air tunnels and I gasp for breath, not able to scream or even move. The fire burns bright red around me, licking the walls and turning them a gaudy shade of orange.
I stand as a piece of the wall collapses in front of me, the fear pushing roots through my feet and grounding me in the spot. No exit, no window, no escape. I stare at the inferno around me and tighten the hold on myself, hugging myself as I wait for the fire to engulf me.
I wake up to the sound of a blaring alarm and Millicent's furry tail swishing under my nose, her entire weight royally seated on my chest. I groan, trying to move underneath the heavy sheets and shoo off the cat, grunting lowly. It was a dream.
Many of these have been occurring ever since I met Navaien, ever since I found out about the Kandosii case, ever since I've been worrying myself with Mandiya. They've been haunting me like ghosts and leaving me with a feeling of goosebumps covering my skin every time I wake up.
I roll over successfully to slap the alarm and the bot shuts up, letting me listen to my cat's purrs early in the morning.
Out of the corner of my eye I notice my father, busily reading the early reports on his datapad and walking around with his grey mug of coffee. I smile, watching the ginger pest jump off my chest and immediately curl itself around my father's ankles. It always had an affinity for him, he adopted her after all. Hux only kneeled down to give her a few affectionate scratches behind the ear before he sipped from his mug, tasting the no doubt bland black coffee.
I rolled myself over to the side of the bed and slipped out from under the sheets when I checked my own datapad, scrolling through the notifications and messages until I got to some missed video calls by Rose. Confused, I stared at the three missed messages and noticed she had pre-recorded one for when I wake up. Judging by the time, I had slept through most of the galactic morning and the bot itself turned off the alarms because I wasn’t registering them. Sighing, I left the datapad by my pillow and lazily slid over the cold tiles to the bathroom, running my fingers through my hair.
It’s been a good few months ever since this whole Mandiya thing began, and a lick of sleep hasn’t been had by anyone on the ship. Nonetheless, after opening up to my father about all the information I got from the Weasel, about the supposed Force Sensitive daughter Ren had that was roaming the Galaxy somewhere on her makeshift smuggler ship, I felt a little more at ease. The dreams were unsettling, waking up inside of a dream next to a bleeding Raller or a bonfire resetting your memories to something you couldn’t remember was unsettling. At least I had someone to tell them to now, except for Navaien and Rose. Rose herself left the message considering she had work to be done in the Fire Arms department for most of the day today. One of the cannons broke loose and disintegrated, which was a loss for our left wing.
“Vestar! When you’re finished, I made you breakfast.” My father called, making me feel my stomach churn at the word ‘breakfast’. Hatred has been spiraling inside of me after these dreams have been repeatedly showing up to me, especially considering the fact that both in the real and imaginary world I get offered breakfast I never fully get to eat.
I walked out of the refresher and sat down on one of the chairs beside him, snaking my arms underneath his and pressing my face to his shoulder. I heard him sigh and a small clank of his heavy mug before his empty hand messed up my hair, making me grunt gently.
“Another one of those dreams?” He asked, setting down his still active pad which was broadcasting a live voting inside the Coruscant Senate. I nodded my head a little and moved away from his comforting warmth, touching around the little bits of cereal inside the bowl. Whose idea was it anyway that Darth Vader’s mask would make an appeasing cereal design? I drowned a few ‘Vaders’ inside the milk but I didn’t find the energy in me to actually bring the spoon towards my mouth.
“Rose has been asking me,” He starts, clasping his hands together and resting his chin over them. “She wants a trip to Bight to see Raller.” I crook my brow as I take a small bite of the cereal, feeling the liquid chill my throat and intestines. Strange, isn’t it? Does no one notice the coldness of liquids early in the morning, when your body is so used to have not consumed anything for a few hours? I take another bite.
“If she’s going, Phasma asked me to let you go to.” Hux looks down at his datapad, tightening his hold on his own hands as his knuckles turn white. Is he worried? I set down the spoon to set my hand above his and he smiles a little, teal eyes brightened by a sheen of morning shine.
“I’m responsible. I’ll be fine.” I assure him, feeling the stress course through his veins. His hands soon enclosed over mine, feeling his warmth surround me once again. I smiled.
“I can take care of myself and Frost for that matter. It’s time that I try to work on my own.”
“But you already work on your own.”
I rolled my eyes, and I felt him laugh a little.
“I’m not a child anymore.”
He stared at me, making me feel a little anxious. I hated when he didn’t talk and just looked at me like that, I felt like I had done something wrong.
He pulled me close, wrapping his arms around my torso and placing his head over my shoulder. I relaxed into his touch, feeling the smell of cigarettes in the collar of his pajama. His hands travelled up and down my back, while mine settled on resting over his upper back. I could feel his ribs underneath the cotton shirt, it made me sad. Still, his heartbeat calmed down against me and he breathed quietly, yet I could sense the rasp coming from inhaling nicotine for years.
“You’re still my child.” He whispers, making me close my eyes and revel in the quiet of the room. I swear I could hear a pin drop if it had occurred.
He pulled away, kissing the top of my forehead.
“I’ll be fine.” I said, furrowing the brows as my words got interrupted by the pad from my room interrupting the deafening silence with it’s ringing. It was definitely Rose again, angry that I hadn’t answered her message yet.
I slid out of my father’s reach and took my pad from the bed, sliding the answer button and letting the hologram materialize in front of me. Rose had her hair slicked back, wearing her uniform and behind her I could notice the faint, glitching outlines of officers. She was still in the main control room, overseeing the progress of the Finalizer’s route.
“You’re finally awake,” She says, clearly as if her voice was liquidized glass. So she was sober, which was now a more often occurrence than before. “I need you down in the control rooms. Don’t be late.”
With that, her form disappeared from my vision; the blue hologram wafting into the air like it was smoke.
I needed to talk to Raller about the Kandosii case. But wouldn’t it be smart to see what Navaien thinks of it? I could always ask him through the communicator but Rose will always be near me, I can’t keep it secret that way. She’s already registered that some Larel Imnis talks to me regularly through the comm, this would further make our connection suspicious.
I set the datapad down, looking at the folded uniform on the chair.