Entry Number 050603A
"I can't stand him."
A heavy grunt surrounded me in the empty room, sinking straight into the mattress in my dorms. It was well past one hundred hours and my eyes were threatening to shut on themselves constantly, making me seem like I had lost sleep for months. I longed for a good night's sleep, to curl up in my bed and stuff my face in the pillow that smelled like Nabooian lavender.
But I couldn't. Because Mandiya exists.
I rolled my eyes back in my head as the thought of his silhouette ran through my head. The thoughts swarmed on me and collectively shunned me for scoping out the dark robes he wore and the intricate designs of his mask. I couldn't say that I envied the aura that came with him, but I could say that I was curious what he kept underneath it.
He very easily fit into the process of the First Order, no matter that a week earlier he had been basically illiterate in all terms of battle tactics and Imperial politics. I had learned from a very drunk Rose that his ability to learn was increasing with every notebook, tome read during his stay inside his chambers, and whenever she passed to check on him, he was in a state of meditation.
He always kept his back turned to the door and never let us see his face, but I knew what he kept underneath. A long, crooked nose and green eyes, small lips and high cheekbones. His skin was patchy and he had freckles on the bridge of his nose, which made him look unrealistically drawn. He wasn't the epitome of perfection, but was the definition of slick and wicked.
I rolled over on my stomach to rub my cheek on the furry pillow. I couldn't believe just how much Ren started fancying a simple civilian, but I suppose the Force was more of the pulling characteristic towards our Supreme Leader. He always managed to confuse me with his riddles, but to Mandiya, everything was crystal clear as if looking through glass. I often saw them speaking through the halls. Oftenly, Mandiya was sent to stop Ren's tantrums. If there's one thing that the passenger was useful for, was minimizing our expenses at repairing broken equipment on the Finalizer.
My days in the quarters became long and boring. Rose never left the Fire Arms, becoming frantic and mad at anyone who talked back to her. She was getting inpatient with all the care being set into grooming the Leader's pet, sneering behind her back whenever she roamed the Finalizer. I oftenly visited Rose but she never openly acknowledged me, just smiled at my jokes and fell back into her deep thoughts.
I suppose she didn't enjoy being replaced as 'ruthless and vile member of the FO' by him. She didn't seem as organized as before and it bothered me greatly; seeing her hair in pulled, messy buns with hold-together sticks, rings of purple surrounding her eyes and smelling thickly of strawberry alcohol and vomit.
I oftenly pushed her inside the shower even together with her clothes, forcing her to wash her greasy hair and bloodied clothing, even through her shouts at how the water was too cold or too hot. It was calming, atleast, how she clung to me when I helped her dress and go to bed, on the worst of her days. I knew she was thankful, but Rose never stepped on her pride to thank someone.
Then there was Navaien. Oh Gods.
I couldn't stop running into him, bumping into him in halls, seeing him at meetings. He was pretending to be a man named Larel Imnis, a member of the FO service who I checked faithfully to see if he was still alive. Thankfully, Rose had taken care of the problem.
I turned to lay on my back and stare up at the grey ceiling. I blinked a few times as the images of Navaien and Mandiya mixed.
Navaien was faithful to me, keeping close to figure out the true happening of Davshe and frequently updated my datapad with pictures of my father with Kandosii. The affiliation they had was further investigated by my side and Rose's under the ruise of wanting to find out what Hux was hiding (which, if I was honest, I kind of was), but nothing valuable came dug up. Only holos of them speaking over a cigarette and black caf.
He was loyal. Navaien kept his word of wishing to find Ren's daughter in return of his days being elongated and I was thankful I had someone on my side. Yet, I felt disturbed. How come noone planned to tell me this had even happened? How was this massive tragedy wiped off the history of the Galaxy with no trace except for a few reports that were half-erased? If I hadn't met Navaien, maybe I never would have figured out this existed.
I set my hand over my stomach and sighed. Navaien quickly adapted to the flow of the ship, how we worked and talked. He often got very serious about the themes we would talk about, and I could count a few times we had the time to sit down and properly talk to eachother outside of the Organa project.
Now that I think back to it, I spent more time with Navaien than Rose altogether. He would come and visit me sometime early in the morning or deep in the afternoon, when the shifts of guards were changing and no one would notice him coming and leaving. I learnt that he had quite a sweet tooth and enjoyed small time deserts. He was allergic to honey, although.
My mind was turning back and forth, towards Mandiya and then towards Navaien. I couldn't untangle the web that was Mandiya not for a pile of credits, not for a mountain of credits. He was confusing and made me want to throw myself into the trash compactor. While Navaien, albeit a jokester and usually in the mood to argue, was good to comply with. Mandiya was surrounded by a sense of presence that attracted me, and pulled me. I wanted to know, because Navaien was already served on a platter.
I shifted on my side.
A heavy grunt surrounded me in the empty room, sinking straight into the mattress in my dorms. It was well past one hundred hours and my eyes were threatening to shut on themselves constantly, making me seem like I had lost sleep for months. I longed for a good night's sleep, to curl up in my bed and stuff my face in the pillow that smelled like Nabooian lavender.
But I couldn't. Because Mandiya exists.
I rolled my eyes back in my head as the thought of his silhouette ran through my head. The thoughts swarmed on me and collectively shunned me for scoping out the dark robes he wore and the intricate designs of his mask. I couldn't say that I envied the aura that came with him, but I could say that I was curious what he kept underneath it.
He very easily fit into the process of the First Order, no matter that a week earlier he had been basically illiterate in all terms of battle tactics and Imperial politics. I had learned from a very drunk Rose that his ability to learn was increasing with every notebook, tome read during his stay inside his chambers, and whenever she passed to check on him, he was in a state of meditation.
He always kept his back turned to the door and never let us see his face, but I knew what he kept underneath. A long, crooked nose and green eyes, small lips and high cheekbones. His skin was patchy and he had freckles on the bridge of his nose, which made him look unrealistically drawn. He wasn't the epitome of perfection, but was the definition of slick and wicked.
I rolled over on my stomach to rub my cheek on the furry pillow. I couldn't believe just how much Ren started fancying a simple civilian, but I suppose the Force was more of the pulling characteristic towards our Supreme Leader. He always managed to confuse me with his riddles, but to Mandiya, everything was crystal clear as if looking through glass. I often saw them speaking through the halls. Oftenly, Mandiya was sent to stop Ren's tantrums. If there's one thing that the passenger was useful for, was minimizing our expenses at repairing broken equipment on the Finalizer.
My days in the quarters became long and boring. Rose never left the Fire Arms, becoming frantic and mad at anyone who talked back to her. She was getting inpatient with all the care being set into grooming the Leader's pet, sneering behind her back whenever she roamed the Finalizer. I oftenly visited Rose but she never openly acknowledged me, just smiled at my jokes and fell back into her deep thoughts.
I suppose she didn't enjoy being replaced as 'ruthless and vile member of the FO' by him. She didn't seem as organized as before and it bothered me greatly; seeing her hair in pulled, messy buns with hold-together sticks, rings of purple surrounding her eyes and smelling thickly of strawberry alcohol and vomit.
I oftenly pushed her inside the shower even together with her clothes, forcing her to wash her greasy hair and bloodied clothing, even through her shouts at how the water was too cold or too hot. It was calming, atleast, how she clung to me when I helped her dress and go to bed, on the worst of her days. I knew she was thankful, but Rose never stepped on her pride to thank someone.
Then there was Navaien. Oh Gods.
I couldn't stop running into him, bumping into him in halls, seeing him at meetings. He was pretending to be a man named Larel Imnis, a member of the FO service who I checked faithfully to see if he was still alive. Thankfully, Rose had taken care of the problem.
I turned to lay on my back and stare up at the grey ceiling. I blinked a few times as the images of Navaien and Mandiya mixed.
Navaien was faithful to me, keeping close to figure out the true happening of Davshe and frequently updated my datapad with pictures of my father with Kandosii. The affiliation they had was further investigated by my side and Rose's under the ruise of wanting to find out what Hux was hiding (which, if I was honest, I kind of was), but nothing valuable came dug up. Only holos of them speaking over a cigarette and black caf.
He was loyal. Navaien kept his word of wishing to find Ren's daughter in return of his days being elongated and I was thankful I had someone on my side. Yet, I felt disturbed. How come noone planned to tell me this had even happened? How was this massive tragedy wiped off the history of the Galaxy with no trace except for a few reports that were half-erased? If I hadn't met Navaien, maybe I never would have figured out this existed.
I set my hand over my stomach and sighed. Navaien quickly adapted to the flow of the ship, how we worked and talked. He often got very serious about the themes we would talk about, and I could count a few times we had the time to sit down and properly talk to eachother outside of the Organa project.
Now that I think back to it, I spent more time with Navaien than Rose altogether. He would come and visit me sometime early in the morning or deep in the afternoon, when the shifts of guards were changing and no one would notice him coming and leaving. I learnt that he had quite a sweet tooth and enjoyed small time deserts. He was allergic to honey, although.
My mind was turning back and forth, towards Mandiya and then towards Navaien. I couldn't untangle the web that was Mandiya not for a pile of credits, not for a mountain of credits. He was confusing and made me want to throw myself into the trash compactor. While Navaien, albeit a jokester and usually in the mood to argue, was good to comply with. Mandiya was surrounded by a sense of presence that attracted me, and pulled me. I wanted to know, because Navaien was already served on a platter.
I shifted on my side.