The Stanley Parable (Book edition)

No! No, no, no! Not the right! Why would I have ever said it was to the right? What was I thinking? It's clearly...oh dear, would you hold on for a minute, please? *papers rustling* Now, let's see...we went, um, right...left...down...left...right...

Ah yep! Okay, okay, yes! I've got it now! This story is absolutely, definitely, this way.