Choose your own adventure!

After using your lighter, placing it into a 1000 degree kiln and even tossing it in an eruptive, million-year old volcano in India, the bill has simply not dissolved and even weirder keeps finding it's way back to you. Then after trying to fry it in the sun, you see Icarus on the way back stuck in orbit and still alive. Icarus is crying and begging for help, "Where is my father?!" What do you do?