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Diamonds Are Expensive

*Slap!* *Slap!*
"He's not waking up."
"What? Let me!"
*KKRUNCHRRKDS*
"AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!" You wake up and clutch your jaw. That bastard punched you!
But then you realise that you have more things to worry about that being punched in the jaw.
You are strapped down to a table with only your arms free. You can't move. There are two men standing looking down at you. One has a big, thick black handlebar moustache and is smiling. He has curly black hair and an earring in his left ear. The other is frowning. He has long blonde hair, no moustache and no earring. He looks a bit scarier.
"Hello!" says the scary-looking one. "Glad to see you awaken. I am Marascanger, otherwise known as The Man With A Big Lead Gun, who is notorious for giving people cancer. And this, is Even Job." He points to the man with the moustache.
"Hello!" he says. He has a very strong Italian accent.
"And you," says Marascanger, "are captured!"
"Ah, crap!" you say.
"SILENCE!" says Marascanger, and slaps you again. His slaps hurt. You'd better not piss him off any more.
"Now," he says, "we are going to find out as much as we can about you, your mission, and MI6. And you are going to tell us."
"Make me," you say.
He points to a large arsenal of torture implements.
"Take your pick!" he says evily.
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