Suzy’s Strange Saga

The Future…

Your siblings, spouses, children, and you all stand in your mother’s bedroom. It probably won’t be long now.

You always knew the day would come when you’d lose her again and that day is today. While you might have been more prepared for it this time, it doesn’t make it any less sad. You didn’t even feel this sad when your dad died years ago and you loved him very much, though maybe that’s because you always still had the tainted memory of your crappy alternate one.

Your mother though in both realities was always there for you and you’ve never forgotten that.

“Now that I’ve said my goodbyes to everyone…I want….I want to speak to Suzy…alone…” your mother utters.

Everyone is a little surprised by this unexpected request. You are too, since you thought everyone was going to be in her room until the end.

“What? But mother…” Kelly starts to say looking almost a little offended.
“Kelly. Not now. Not today.” Ben says with a stern voice.

Kelly looks at Ben like she wants to argue, but he’s about the only person that can make her back down. She does however give you the stare of death.

Kelly never changes no matter what reality. She always hates you. There actually was a slightly comforting consistency when you first encountered her.

“Fine. She’s all yours, just like she always is.” Kelly snaps and storms out the room.

Ben exhales and shrugs with a slight widening of his eyes looking at you.

“It’s okay…I’m used to it.” You say.
“Alright, everyone come on let’s leave these two alone to talk.” Ben replies.

Ben escorts his children out of the room while Julie goes up and gives you a quick hug before following them.

You kiss and hug your husband and tell your daughter that you’ll see them later.

After they leave it’s just you and mom. You pull up your chair as close as you can to the bed and sit near her and hold her hand.

“I’m here mom.” You say.
“Yes…yes you are. You’ve always been here. (Cough) Even when you weren’t.”

Your mom at this point turns to look directly at you and despite her very weak state you feel her hand squeeze yours somewhat strongly and she gives you a sudden intense look.

“I know you’re not Suzy…or rather you’re not the Suzy I gave birth to…” she says with a tone that you’ve never heard before. It isn’t anger or anything negative, but it is one that puts you so off guard that you get a chill down your back.

“Mom, I…” you begin to sputter before she interrupts you.
“Don’t. I know. I’ve known for a very long time now. A mother always knows her own child.”

You don’t know how to react. You look down and away from your “mother. You actually feel a little sick and you start to tremble a bit. You have never once in all these years felt bad about what you did, but now you’re not so sure. You begin to sniffle and tears start to form.

“Shhhh, Suzy. Save your tears for when I’m truly gone because it doesn’t matter. You’re still my daughter, but I couldn’t go to my grave without letting you know that I knew. I also thought I’d tell you for your sake. Now (cough) I don’t want to know the gruesome details…about HOW this came to be, but if its been weighing on your conscience at all, you didn’t actually replace the Suzy I gave birth to anyway.”

This is beyond unexpected. How is it possible that she knows all this just on instinct? You look up at your mother.

“My Suzy…the Suzy I knew as the daughter I gave birth to? Something happened to her a long time ago. (cough cough) Something changed soon after she went to college. I never could place my finger on it, but first time she visited I knew something was different. And it wasn’t just due to experimenting with new ideas and sexuality in college. SHE was different and I KNEW she was. As I said, a mother knows, but the frequent little inconsistencies in her memories and such made it certain. Just as I learned with you.”

You just continue holding your mother’s hand as she speaks.

“But what could I do? What could I say? Who would believe such a fantastic tale? Sure this new Suzy was a little more full of herself, but she still loved me just like my Suzy did. I couldn’t lose my baby daughter twice so I never spoke up. Never (cough) dreamed it would happen again though. I suppose in some ways I might have even been glad though. You replaced the one who replaced mine.”

Never did you ever believe that your mother knew. To learn this now is just as overwhelming as when you had to deal with the situation so long ago.

“Why…why didn’t you say anything before?” you ask looking up.
“Why ruin a good relationship? You never disrespected me and treated me kindly. You always visited when you could and you even moved back to town with your family when your father died so you could be closer to me. You obviously loved me very much. Could I really ask for a better daughter?” your mother says with a faint smile.

The feelings are almost overwhelming you at this point. You’re completely at a loss. At this point your mom gives your hand another squeeze, but weaker this time.

“You’re my daughter. My baby and I always loved you. Never doubt that.” She says.
“I don’t…(Sob)” you say and attempt to hold it together.

Your mother’s grip is becoming less firm now.

“Soon none of this will matter, but before I go…I want to know a couple things…” your mother says weakly.
“Of course.” You reply.
“What…(cough) was your other mother like?”
“She…(sniffle) was very much like you. She was kind and was the only one who ever truly cared when I was growing up. I…(sob) was still little when she died…I missed her very much…” you say trying to keep from crying completely.

Your mother nods.

“I see…I suppose…(cough cough) that answer might partially answer my other question then…”
“What’s that?”
“How many other Suzys were there after you?”

You’re silent for a moment.

“Three that I know of. I think you may have even met one of them.”
“Mm…considering you were never replaced… I suppose…you just wanted this life more than they did then…”
“It…(sob) has been a good life…(sob)”

Your mother pats your hand.

“And you’ll still have a good life Suzy, even after I’m gone…” she says.

At this point your mother’s eyes begin to flutter and then shut completely and her breathing becomes shallow.

You stay until the end and then sadness is completely released. You cry over your loss and head towards the door, not wishing to be in the same room with the empty shell that was your mother any longer.

When you exit, your husband immediately sees had distraught you are and goes to comfort you. Your daughter has been visibly crying as well. Ben, says that he’ll start making the arrangements for the funeral, meanwhile Kelly takes it upon herself to call medical personnel.

Later, the drive back home is quieter, with your daughter Sally sleeping in the backseat and your husband Roger just paying attention to the road.

It’s been an emotional roller coaster for you today. More than you even thought it would be, but you’re sort of glad your mother knew. Somehow her knowing and still loving and accepting you anyway made it just as real as how your reality’s mom felt towards you.

You also wonder if this means you won’t have to put up with any other reality hopping Suzys any longer. That might be a little too much to hope for though, after all your life is still a good one and you have much to be happy about in the scheme of things. Your mother was right about that.

Doesn’t matter, you’ll continue to fight for it just like you always have because now you truly have a life worth fighting for.

“You okay over there honey?” Roger asks.
“Yes, well no, but I guess I’m just trying to think about all the good times I had with mom. You know, focus on the positive.”
“That’s good Suzy. I think that’s a healthy approach.” He replies.

Roger always has been a supportive husband to you. You never would have thought you would have fallen for a soldier type before. You sometimes wonder if you and Roger ever met in another reality.

“Yeah, it’s odd, but I think I’m also coming up with an idea for a new book. Figure maybe I should re-channel all this negativity into something productive.” You say.
“Oh? What idea?”
“Well I suppose my mind is still a bit fragmented for a solid idea, but I’m thinking of doing a sequel to Mirrors.”
“Oh, your scifi book about parallel dimensions? That one was pretty popular. I know I certainly liked it better than that one your wrote about that inbred cultist family. That one was a little too gruesome for my tastes.”
“Well I had to make a dramatic break from my first three books. Up until then, all people thought I could write was lesbian pirate erotica.”
“Hey I liked Treasure Chest. I thought it was a pretty deep love story.” Roger says.
“Oh I know why YOU liked it.” You say chuckling a little bit and allowing yourself to feel a little better.
“Well okay I liked the obvious too, well anyway do you have any idea on what the new story might involve?”
“It will probably just pick up a few years after Mirror left off and I’ll see how it goes from there. Like I said, it’s just in the idea stages now, but whatever I come up with, I’ll definitely be dedicating it in the memory of mom.”
“Well I think that’s a very good way to honor her. She certainly has contributed to your inspiration.”

You nod.

“In more ways than one Roger. In more ways than one.”