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Alien vs. Jocks

The alien knows that throughout the night, it will be devouring many enemies. In order for its bladder to sufficiently cope with all of this digestion, it must set up a rudimentary lavatory system and, seeing a light in the distance, it decides to set up this system on the edge of the forest, seemingly away from the enemy.

Heading towards the light, the alien finds itself on a huge male campsite. Many of the partying jocks are staying here but it is also host to other studs. The woodlands hosts various sporting and modelling competitions as well as a large summer festival - the party is an off-shoot of that but the number of arrogant studs here is far more than the alien ever could have foreseen. It realizes it is vastly outnumbered.

Keeping to the shadows, it sees various studs walking about, having a beer and chilling. There is a small makeshift bar in the middle. The alien strips the needed technology and equipment from its battered spaceship and begins setting up its system on the edge of the campsite but so it is still shrouded in darkness. The alien recalls myths from its ancestors of using excrement as a deadly weapon during times of immense conflict and decides to put this to the test. Most powerful life forms are able to withstand its toxic waste but it does not know how thick-skinned these creatures are. It makeshifts its toilet equipment into a series of deadly weapons and then skulks around the campsite to find hostages to take and test it out on.

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Muscle stud Harvey is chilling outside his tent with a cold bottle of beer, unaware he will soon be facing the most horrific demise imaginable. As he sits there drinking, he hears a rustle of leaves behind him but thinks nothing of it. But then he can sense footsteps behind him and spins round, only to be face to face with the alien. He goes to scream but with one sniff of the alien's putrid breath, he passes out on the ground. When he wakes up, he will be in a living nightmare.

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Four other studs are harvested by the alien in the same way. Kyle is attending the party but is running late as he's spent much of the night on the phone to his girlfriend. He's one of the most intelligent and popular guys in the year and gets on with everyone, but soon that will count for nothing. Just as he finishes the call to his girlfriend, he is grabbed by the alien and knocked out with its breath.

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Finally, Dwayne, Stefan and Billy are kidnapped. These three studs have been playing soccer all weekend at the festival. They are best friends and met at this same festival a few years back. After a hot and sweaty day, they're lying in their three-man tent. The alien notices their shadows, rips through the tent and knocks them out before they can even question what is going on.

The alien arranges the knocked-out studs so it can begin its experiment. Does it experiment first with its piss or shit?

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