All is in Blunderland
As you begin to regain consciousness, you yawn and stretch, feeling a cold cloth on your forehead.
"You've been asleep for almost nine hours," says a friendly, female voice.
"I had this terrible dream. I was some kind of secret agent, I think some time during the cold war."
"Well," she says, "You're safe and sound here on December thirty-second." A bell tolls, ringing your skull like a hammer to the head. "Noooorrrah!!!! Iiiito!!!! Answer the door, please!"
You sit up quickly. In front of you is a striking, beaming, middle-aged woman. "Well, you're not my- my... m... m..."
"Mame, Darling," she grins. "My little Love, you and Vera have the exact same expression! Have you forgotten me?" she exclaims as she throws her arms in the air. I'M YOUR AUNTIE MAME!"
"Mame?"
"Wake up, Darling! Up, up, up, UP! Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death! Merry Christmas, my Little Love:) I'm dying for you to open your presents!"
"Presents? Really? But... I though there was a depression? And who is this Purple Phantom?"
"Oh, don't worry about that. Your Uncle's Lloyd and Harry took care of everything!"
"Lloyd? Harry?"
"Yes, of course, Darling! Don't you remember? They've got a suitcase filled with eight thousand dollars!"
"Okkaayyy.... but where did... oh, never mind. So can I open the presents right now, Auntie? Right now?"
"Of course, Darling. I'm just going to mix a Triple Istanbul Express first for Harry. Lovely drink. Reminds me of Turkey. Are we all lit?"
"Turkey?"
You suddenly realize that you're ravenously hungry, as Lloyd Christmas walks in, followed by Harry... Harry... what's his last name again?
A sudden bang-bang-bang on the window startles everyone, as a thin, crazy-eyed man grins maniacally through the pane and shouts out, "Heeeeeyyyyyy! Merry Christmas Mr. Potter!!!!!!" and runs off.
Harry Potter shouts a greeting back in return, after which you ask, "Am I dreaming?"
"Yes."
"Can I PLEASE wake up now and open my presents?"
The young wizard smiles at you, and suddenly his chin grows a pointy white beard, and his head grows a pointy white hat.
"Err... Gandalf? Is it all over now? Ohhhh, are my presents from Galadrial?"
"Don't tempt me, Frodo! Ho, ho!" he laughs. "Ho, ho, HO!" Suddenly Gandalf's white cloak changes to red, and his stall, lean frame quickly morphs into a pleasingly plump body dominated by a large belly that shakes like a bowl full of jelly when he laughs.
"Errr... Santa? I've been a good boy. May I please have my presents now?"
"Of course," says Old Saint Nick. "But first, please answer this riddle: How do I scratch an itch?"
"You've been asleep for almost nine hours," says a friendly, female voice.
"I had this terrible dream. I was some kind of secret agent, I think some time during the cold war."
"Well," she says, "You're safe and sound here on December thirty-second." A bell tolls, ringing your skull like a hammer to the head. "Noooorrrah!!!! Iiiito!!!! Answer the door, please!"
You sit up quickly. In front of you is a striking, beaming, middle-aged woman. "Well, you're not my- my... m... m..."
"Mame, Darling," she grins. "My little Love, you and Vera have the exact same expression! Have you forgotten me?" she exclaims as she throws her arms in the air. I'M YOUR AUNTIE MAME!"
"Mame?"
"Wake up, Darling! Up, up, up, UP! Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death! Merry Christmas, my Little Love:) I'm dying for you to open your presents!"
"Presents? Really? But... I though there was a depression? And who is this Purple Phantom?"
"Oh, don't worry about that. Your Uncle's Lloyd and Harry took care of everything!"
"Lloyd? Harry?"
"Yes, of course, Darling! Don't you remember? They've got a suitcase filled with eight thousand dollars!"
"Okkaayyy.... but where did... oh, never mind. So can I open the presents right now, Auntie? Right now?"
"Of course, Darling. I'm just going to mix a Triple Istanbul Express first for Harry. Lovely drink. Reminds me of Turkey. Are we all lit?"
"Turkey?"
You suddenly realize that you're ravenously hungry, as Lloyd Christmas walks in, followed by Harry... Harry... what's his last name again?
A sudden bang-bang-bang on the window startles everyone, as a thin, crazy-eyed man grins maniacally through the pane and shouts out, "Heeeeeyyyyyy! Merry Christmas Mr. Potter!!!!!!" and runs off.
Harry Potter shouts a greeting back in return, after which you ask, "Am I dreaming?"
"Yes."
"Can I PLEASE wake up now and open my presents?"
The young wizard smiles at you, and suddenly his chin grows a pointy white beard, and his head grows a pointy white hat.
"Err... Gandalf? Is it all over now? Ohhhh, are my presents from Galadrial?"
"Don't tempt me, Frodo! Ho, ho!" he laughs. "Ho, ho, HO!" Suddenly Gandalf's white cloak changes to red, and his stall, lean frame quickly morphs into a pleasingly plump body dominated by a large belly that shakes like a bowl full of jelly when he laughs.
"Errr... Santa? I've been a good boy. May I please have my presents now?"
"Of course," says Old Saint Nick. "But first, please answer this riddle: How do I scratch an itch?"