THE MOST JELLYFISHY RANDOMISH STORY EVER

You run into the nearest town and find an old lady walking along the street, reading a newspaper with a pair of coke-bottle glasses.

You quickly run up to her and snatch her purse. Looking through it, all you find are three bricks and, YES! A hefty package of cigar matches. You take them quickly, but the old lady snatches back her purse and starts to hit you with it! And remember, it's filled with bricks.