Exploitation Theater
You grin as you remember this one. Lots of neat stop motion animation special effects, bloody killings and some bizarre sex to top it all off. You remember the tag line being "A seductive journey from a time of incredible magic through the wonders of sex and the mysteries of death."
It's often been mentioned on more than one occasion among geeks, pervs and B-movie lovers (like yourself) that had the movie not been made by the porn industry in a misguided attempt to be "accepted" into the mainstream it would be considered a major classic in the fantasy genre. In any case, there should be more sword and sorcery movies like this.
The ticket guy takes your money, hold up your tickets, rips them and also throws the stubs at you.
"Here. Theater two. Go left, you can't miss it." He says and tries to go back to his magazine before you bother him again.
"Where is the concession stand?" you ask.
"Concession stand? You're joking right? We haven't served any sort of food in here in years. Let alone cleaned it. It's over there though. If you're lucky you might be able to fight a rat for some old Gummy Worms stuck to the glass. At least I think they're gummy "
"Ew." Your girlfriend remarks.
"Uh, nevermind then."
You and your girlfriend walk to theater two and open the door. The place isn't empty, but there aren't many people inside. The ones that are here look like total basement dwelling pervs.
"All the people in here look like total basement dwelling pervs." Your girlfriend whispers and grabs onto your arm.
"Oh come on, if that was the case they'd all be in their basements right now. Besides we're not the only couple here, there's a goth couple over there. Relax. It'll be fine. Let's just sit towards the back."
You and your girlfriend find a couple of relatively clean seats in the back row and prepare to watch the film.
As the title screen comes on and the cheesy fantasy music plays, all the old memories of how much you enjoyed this come back to you instantly and you feel yourself getting into the movie
It's often been mentioned on more than one occasion among geeks, pervs and B-movie lovers (like yourself) that had the movie not been made by the porn industry in a misguided attempt to be "accepted" into the mainstream it would be considered a major classic in the fantasy genre. In any case, there should be more sword and sorcery movies like this.
The ticket guy takes your money, hold up your tickets, rips them and also throws the stubs at you.
"Here. Theater two. Go left, you can't miss it." He says and tries to go back to his magazine before you bother him again.
"Where is the concession stand?" you ask.
"Concession stand? You're joking right? We haven't served any sort of food in here in years. Let alone cleaned it. It's over there though. If you're lucky you might be able to fight a rat for some old Gummy Worms stuck to the glass. At least I think they're gummy "
"Ew." Your girlfriend remarks.
"Uh, nevermind then."
You and your girlfriend walk to theater two and open the door. The place isn't empty, but there aren't many people inside. The ones that are here look like total basement dwelling pervs.
"All the people in here look like total basement dwelling pervs." Your girlfriend whispers and grabs onto your arm.
"Oh come on, if that was the case they'd all be in their basements right now. Besides we're not the only couple here, there's a goth couple over there. Relax. It'll be fine. Let's just sit towards the back."
You and your girlfriend find a couple of relatively clean seats in the back row and prepare to watch the film.
As the title screen comes on and the cheesy fantasy music plays, all the old memories of how much you enjoyed this come back to you instantly and you feel yourself getting into the movie