Extend the Story - Add a Room

Your first day at work, you create some nice propaganda which makes Pauly Shore look like a terrorist. This will cover your tracks well, since you're the one who killed him.

Ms. President gives you a lot of free reign over the Department of Propaganda. She especially liked the part about how you linked Rachael Ray to Al-Qaeda, parenting columnist John Rosemond to the KKK, and you've managed to single-handedly stop Alaska and British Columbia from seceding, by writing an article promoting greater autonomy for them.

In the months that follow, you crank out story after story for the media to just eat up. You are working on a piece which will really help Erik Estrada's campaign for Governor of California, when a letter arrives on your desk. You open it. It reads:

"It's me, Carrot Top. Meet me at the park a mile from here or I'll leak some things you don't want getting out...If you mention this to the cops, or to President Glau, things will get nasty..."

F*** it, just leave this dimension...