Life After Life
As a boy my parents had discovered me with another boy. Deeply religious they'd been horrified. The only thing they could think to do was go to the church. The church had performed a ritual to rid me of my evil desires, but it hadn't helped. I'd begun to hate myself for being such a terrible sinner, for wanting what I shouldn't have.
The older I got the more difficult it was to deal with my desires. There were so many men I wanted. It was like a need that pushed to be fulfilled. My parents watched me for any deviance and I wanted to be a good son. I wanted to be everything they desired.
The demon had come to me one dark night in my room. I was in bed crying. I'd almost gone home with this man. He'd been tall with black hair and a wicked smile. He'd promised me a night to remember. Just one night. I almost went. I wanted it so badly.
"I'll take away all of these feelings for you Ryan," a voice, deep and masculine spoke to me from nowhere. "I'll make you into a good Christian. All you have to do is serve me after death. During life you will be everything your parents desire."
I remember being frightened yet desperate.
"Who are you?"
"I am Satan, I am the one they warn you away from every Sunday. I see God has failed you Ryan, but I'm here to help. Surely if God cared so much he would have given you some measure of relief by now." It had been difficult to hear those words, as I'd thought the same thing many times myself. Of course Satan would know that, wouldn't he?
"I must not succumb to temptation." I said, hoping it would be enough to drive him off, but maybe I didn't hope hard enough.
"Yes, yes boy, you must not. Think it over. I'll be around, just call me and tell me you agree. I'll give you what you long for." Of course I hadn't held out more than a month. Perhaps the peace I'd had for the years which followed had been worth this. Maybe Hell would actually be a good place for someone like me.
The older I got the more difficult it was to deal with my desires. There were so many men I wanted. It was like a need that pushed to be fulfilled. My parents watched me for any deviance and I wanted to be a good son. I wanted to be everything they desired.
The demon had come to me one dark night in my room. I was in bed crying. I'd almost gone home with this man. He'd been tall with black hair and a wicked smile. He'd promised me a night to remember. Just one night. I almost went. I wanted it so badly.
"I'll take away all of these feelings for you Ryan," a voice, deep and masculine spoke to me from nowhere. "I'll make you into a good Christian. All you have to do is serve me after death. During life you will be everything your parents desire."
I remember being frightened yet desperate.
"Who are you?"
"I am Satan, I am the one they warn you away from every Sunday. I see God has failed you Ryan, but I'm here to help. Surely if God cared so much he would have given you some measure of relief by now." It had been difficult to hear those words, as I'd thought the same thing many times myself. Of course Satan would know that, wouldn't he?
"I must not succumb to temptation." I said, hoping it would be enough to drive him off, but maybe I didn't hope hard enough.
"Yes, yes boy, you must not. Think it over. I'll be around, just call me and tell me you agree. I'll give you what you long for." Of course I hadn't held out more than a month. Perhaps the peace I'd had for the years which followed had been worth this. Maybe Hell would actually be a good place for someone like me.