Virginia Tech: A Cho-ose Your Own Adventure
Dammit, this massacre is gonna be your masterwork! It will take more than four pages to explain yourself, especially since you don't plan on being around afterward. And to make an impression nowadays, you need to have video and pictures. The Columbine killers had movies and you don't want to be one-upped by some stupid white kids.
It's been about ten minutes since you shot that bitch in her room and you still haven't even heard sirens. Stupid campus cops...the only thing they're good at is catching students drinking or tracking stolen bicycles. Even if they came to your door, you're sure you could waste some pussy ass college pigs, no problem. Killing two people makes you feel invincible. You feel like Oldboy beating his captors to a bloody pulp with nothing but a hammer...
You set up your digital camera and pick up a hammer for your first picture, glowering at the camera in a rictus of rage that you are certain will scare the bejesus out of people. You plan to exact vengeance on everyone who has kept you a captive of their banal idiocy all these years. Maybe they'll get the reference, maybe not. Fuck 'em anyway, you look scary in that picture.
You continue to snap photos. Actually, it's kinda fun. You pose with your guns, giving a range of expressions that go from scary and angry to empty and nihilistic. After you think you have enough, you upload them to your computer and create a folder, throwing in two earlier shots of you in a car looking like a nice, normal young man. Now they will all see what you once were versus the you they created.
Damn, this is kinda fun. You unplug the camera and set it to record video. You vent at it for a couple of minutes, then realize that all you're doing is repeating your manifesto. So you erase that take and do another one where you compare yourself to Jesus and rail against the debauched culture of the school.
"I hope you know you had every opportunity to stop this, but you turned me away..." you say. Hopefully, that will make the people at your school feel worse because now they know they are ultimately at fault. At the very least, maybe it will make some of the girls who turned you down for dates feel bad.
You upload the video to your computer and burn those and the photos to a disk. You stick them in a manila envelope. Now, who to send them to? You suppose you could just leave them here, but you know that the ignoramuses here would likely destroy them, being too afraid of your words. You should send them to the news, but which network? You decide on NBC since you're a Will and Grace fan. If they can come up with brilliant programming like that, then they're sure to appreciate the deep meaning of your words.
You Google the address for NBC News, scribble it on your envelope, slap on about ten stamps since you're unsure of the postage. You look at the time. Oh no! It's almost nine o'clock. Classes have been going on for an hour! You completely lost track of time putting together your media package.
You calm down. Your massacre is a little behind schedule, but things aren't too bad. 9 o'clock classes should still provide you with a target rich environment. You grab your guns, some bike chains, and the envelope for the news and head out your door for the last time.
As your walking down the stairwell of your dorm, you notice through the window that the police have finally arrived. There are four cop cars you can see (two of them are Blackburg city police as well as Virginia Tech campus cruisers) and an ambulance. A paddy wagon is pulling up as you speak. Nervously, you peek down the stairwell to see if there are any police searching them, but there aren't any. It looks like the police are all concentrated on the other wing of Ambler-Johnson where the shootings occured. It doesn't look like the building is cordoned off. You can probably slip away through the side enterance without being detected.
Then you realize, "How am I going to mail this envelope?" You just spent over an hour putting it together, you might as well send it off. You figured originally you were going to put it in the mail drop by the front entrance, but with all the cops around now, that doesn't seem like a really good idea. Perhaps you should go to the student union instead. There is a small post office there where you can drop it off. The only draw back to that is that the student union isn't exactly on the way to Norris Hall. In fact, it's on the other end of campus and it will be a long walk, adding at least another twenty minutes before you can get your killing on.
It's been about ten minutes since you shot that bitch in her room and you still haven't even heard sirens. Stupid campus cops...the only thing they're good at is catching students drinking or tracking stolen bicycles. Even if they came to your door, you're sure you could waste some pussy ass college pigs, no problem. Killing two people makes you feel invincible. You feel like Oldboy beating his captors to a bloody pulp with nothing but a hammer...
You set up your digital camera and pick up a hammer for your first picture, glowering at the camera in a rictus of rage that you are certain will scare the bejesus out of people. You plan to exact vengeance on everyone who has kept you a captive of their banal idiocy all these years. Maybe they'll get the reference, maybe not. Fuck 'em anyway, you look scary in that picture.
You continue to snap photos. Actually, it's kinda fun. You pose with your guns, giving a range of expressions that go from scary and angry to empty and nihilistic. After you think you have enough, you upload them to your computer and create a folder, throwing in two earlier shots of you in a car looking like a nice, normal young man. Now they will all see what you once were versus the you they created.
Damn, this is kinda fun. You unplug the camera and set it to record video. You vent at it for a couple of minutes, then realize that all you're doing is repeating your manifesto. So you erase that take and do another one where you compare yourself to Jesus and rail against the debauched culture of the school.
"I hope you know you had every opportunity to stop this, but you turned me away..." you say. Hopefully, that will make the people at your school feel worse because now they know they are ultimately at fault. At the very least, maybe it will make some of the girls who turned you down for dates feel bad.
You upload the video to your computer and burn those and the photos to a disk. You stick them in a manila envelope. Now, who to send them to? You suppose you could just leave them here, but you know that the ignoramuses here would likely destroy them, being too afraid of your words. You should send them to the news, but which network? You decide on NBC since you're a Will and Grace fan. If they can come up with brilliant programming like that, then they're sure to appreciate the deep meaning of your words.
You Google the address for NBC News, scribble it on your envelope, slap on about ten stamps since you're unsure of the postage. You look at the time. Oh no! It's almost nine o'clock. Classes have been going on for an hour! You completely lost track of time putting together your media package.
You calm down. Your massacre is a little behind schedule, but things aren't too bad. 9 o'clock classes should still provide you with a target rich environment. You grab your guns, some bike chains, and the envelope for the news and head out your door for the last time.
As your walking down the stairwell of your dorm, you notice through the window that the police have finally arrived. There are four cop cars you can see (two of them are Blackburg city police as well as Virginia Tech campus cruisers) and an ambulance. A paddy wagon is pulling up as you speak. Nervously, you peek down the stairwell to see if there are any police searching them, but there aren't any. It looks like the police are all concentrated on the other wing of Ambler-Johnson where the shootings occured. It doesn't look like the building is cordoned off. You can probably slip away through the side enterance without being detected.
Then you realize, "How am I going to mail this envelope?" You just spent over an hour putting it together, you might as well send it off. You figured originally you were going to put it in the mail drop by the front entrance, but with all the cops around now, that doesn't seem like a really good idea. Perhaps you should go to the student union instead. There is a small post office there where you can drop it off. The only draw back to that is that the student union isn't exactly on the way to Norris Hall. In fact, it's on the other end of campus and it will be a long walk, adding at least another twenty minutes before you can get your killing on.