Hall of Infinite Doors
"Chocolate babies," you say out loud, licking your lips. You can still remember the little candy store in the town where you grew up. They specialized in making chocolate babies, those lusciously soft and succulent treats, the mere thought of which could keep you awake all night.
It's not long before you find a tent marked "Chocolate Temptations". You strut inside and excitedly ask the prim-looking salesclerk where the chocolate babies are. How could Mrs. Gingerbread only want five of them? Maybe you'll get six and she'll never be the wiser. Or even seven! However, the clerk rolls her eyes and shakes her head at you.
"Chocolate babies aren't sold here," she states in a bored monotone. "You'd find them in the livestock tent."
The livestock tent?
Following the woman's directions, you find the livestock tent standing in isolation, separated by a considerable distance from the rest of the market. Entering the large, tattered structure, you are met with a barrage of sights and sounds. A herd of two-dimensional reindeer gallops past you, each one whimpering as an angry-looking man in a red soldier's uniform whips it. The reindeer appear to be made of nothing but white wires wrapped in small bright lights, yet they are unmistakably alive. Amazing! You approach the soldier holding the whip. His appearance is wooden and unexpressive, but he salutes you respectfully.
"Good evening," he says with all possible gentility.
"Good evening," you say. Then you remember your baffling mission and you hesitate for a moment before saying, "I was told to come here to find chocolate babies."
"Yes, of course," answers the soldier. "Come right this way."
You follow him past a pen full of gold-colored sheep, all of them baying unhappily. You nearly collide with a flock of geese fluttering maniacally across your path. The soldier stops by a seemingly empty cage, muttering a quiet curse under his breath.
"I'm very sorry," he says to you. "But we're nearly out of chocolate babies. How many did you need?"
"Five".
It's then that you notice a small movement from within the cage. You stare in disbelief as a chocolate baby stirs from its straw bed and sits up to look at you. It is a chocolate baby just as you remember, with dark and somewhat nondescript features. But it's much bigger. And it's alive! Even before you see the heavy metal shackle locked around its neck, you are filled with horror. All those years, you were eating something that was alive? How could this be? What's going on? The chocolate baby stares up at you sadly.
"This is the only one we've got left," says the soldier, seemingly oblivious to your shocked reaction. "I forgot that the Muffinman cleaned us out earlier today. He's got a factory over on Drury Lane where he puts these things to work."
You feel an overwhelming desire to leave immediately. You are turning around to go when the soldier grabs your arm and says,
"You know, we should be getting a new shipment tomorrow. I can have a fresh troop of them sent to your house. Where do you live?"
"Well, actually, I'm on an errand for a friend. I'm staying with Mr. and Mrs. Gingerbread. Do you know them?"
"Do I!" shouts the soldier. He looks quickly around him and then bends conspiratorially towards you. "Tell Mrs. Gingerbread how very sorry I am that I couldn't fulfill her desires tonight. I'll send up six babies tomorrow, the sixth of course being on the house." He tips his hat slightly, smiles broadly, and leaning even closer to you, whispers, "And of course if the lady should want anything more, she'll have to come down here for someĀ negotiations. Nothing too time-consuming, just in and out. I know she's a busy lady!" He cackles horribly, winking repeatedly as he does so.
You nod quickly and practically sprint out of the tent. You can hear the chocolate baby wailing behind you. What a horrible place! You have to take a moment outside to reorganize your fragmented thoughts. Breathing in deeply, you tell yourself that you are in a different place, with a different culture, and you shouldn't try to understand it all in one day. This helps you somewhat, and you feel your pulse slow back to a normal rate.
With the exception of the chocolate babies, you managed to get everything on Mrs. Gingerbread's shopping list. Your growling tummy quickens your footsteps back up the hill towards the warm little house where your adventures began. As you turn onto Tart Terrace, you notice the same two gingerbread children from earlier in the day hurling snowballs at each other under the tinsel-wrapped streetlamps.
It's not long before you find a tent marked "Chocolate Temptations". You strut inside and excitedly ask the prim-looking salesclerk where the chocolate babies are. How could Mrs. Gingerbread only want five of them? Maybe you'll get six and she'll never be the wiser. Or even seven! However, the clerk rolls her eyes and shakes her head at you.
"Chocolate babies aren't sold here," she states in a bored monotone. "You'd find them in the livestock tent."
The livestock tent?
Following the woman's directions, you find the livestock tent standing in isolation, separated by a considerable distance from the rest of the market. Entering the large, tattered structure, you are met with a barrage of sights and sounds. A herd of two-dimensional reindeer gallops past you, each one whimpering as an angry-looking man in a red soldier's uniform whips it. The reindeer appear to be made of nothing but white wires wrapped in small bright lights, yet they are unmistakably alive. Amazing! You approach the soldier holding the whip. His appearance is wooden and unexpressive, but he salutes you respectfully.
"Good evening," he says with all possible gentility.
"Good evening," you say. Then you remember your baffling mission and you hesitate for a moment before saying, "I was told to come here to find chocolate babies."
"Yes, of course," answers the soldier. "Come right this way."
You follow him past a pen full of gold-colored sheep, all of them baying unhappily. You nearly collide with a flock of geese fluttering maniacally across your path. The soldier stops by a seemingly empty cage, muttering a quiet curse under his breath.
"I'm very sorry," he says to you. "But we're nearly out of chocolate babies. How many did you need?"
"Five".
It's then that you notice a small movement from within the cage. You stare in disbelief as a chocolate baby stirs from its straw bed and sits up to look at you. It is a chocolate baby just as you remember, with dark and somewhat nondescript features. But it's much bigger. And it's alive! Even before you see the heavy metal shackle locked around its neck, you are filled with horror. All those years, you were eating something that was alive? How could this be? What's going on? The chocolate baby stares up at you sadly.
"This is the only one we've got left," says the soldier, seemingly oblivious to your shocked reaction. "I forgot that the Muffinman cleaned us out earlier today. He's got a factory over on Drury Lane where he puts these things to work."
You feel an overwhelming desire to leave immediately. You are turning around to go when the soldier grabs your arm and says,
"You know, we should be getting a new shipment tomorrow. I can have a fresh troop of them sent to your house. Where do you live?"
"Well, actually, I'm on an errand for a friend. I'm staying with Mr. and Mrs. Gingerbread. Do you know them?"
"Do I!" shouts the soldier. He looks quickly around him and then bends conspiratorially towards you. "Tell Mrs. Gingerbread how very sorry I am that I couldn't fulfill her desires tonight. I'll send up six babies tomorrow, the sixth of course being on the house." He tips his hat slightly, smiles broadly, and leaning even closer to you, whispers, "And of course if the lady should want anything more, she'll have to come down here for someĀ negotiations. Nothing too time-consuming, just in and out. I know she's a busy lady!" He cackles horribly, winking repeatedly as he does so.
You nod quickly and practically sprint out of the tent. You can hear the chocolate baby wailing behind you. What a horrible place! You have to take a moment outside to reorganize your fragmented thoughts. Breathing in deeply, you tell yourself that you are in a different place, with a different culture, and you shouldn't try to understand it all in one day. This helps you somewhat, and you feel your pulse slow back to a normal rate.
With the exception of the chocolate babies, you managed to get everything on Mrs. Gingerbread's shopping list. Your growling tummy quickens your footsteps back up the hill towards the warm little house where your adventures began. As you turn onto Tart Terrace, you notice the same two gingerbread children from earlier in the day hurling snowballs at each other under the tinsel-wrapped streetlamps.