KatieWroteIt

You have a sense of humor, and I like that. The robot beginning was rather creative. All of my points are yours for those reasons. Overall I didn't care for the story, but as a writer I'm sure you have potential.

Calen, this story is damn near close to flawless. Really awesome work.

Wow... I randomly picked this story to read and I am so glad I did. What a wonderful addition to the site.

I was actually disappointed to reach an empty room. I'm fascinated by the story,and I can't wait to see where it is going.

The main reason I am giving you a 9 instead of a 10 is because I think the first room is really hard to get through. It is hard to get through because all the descriptions are built around the word "you" I think it is holding you back.

This is the greatest love story ever written! I love a little gore with my romance. By far my favorite story on the site... possibly my favorite story ever written.

I'd like to give this story something higher- but I can't bring myself to do so. It would be better if your rooms had a little more detail and if you had a bit more attention to the characterization.

I love Love LOVE vampire stories. This one was fun too. I didn't approach it with any expectations. I like what you did with the story. I really enjoyed it.

I agree with Apoth. I love the pictures, they were beautiful. You have a way with words too. I hope you'll write more in the future.

Drums, if you could add more description to the tunnels it would be much more interesting. Generally if a room consists of only one sentence the reader is going to be unsatisfied. A labyrinth is a cool concept though.

OK, this is readable- plus the chick gets eatten out which is a good thing to have in any story. If you keep going and extend the scenes a bit more before offering the choices it would be a bit better. Also, most people don't really care to make choices about the characters food. If you are ready to end a room just use "continue..." or "next page" or something. It doesn't all have to end with a choice. Anyway, I'd read something else written by you. :) And I know a boob tube is usually a strapless shirt.

Since everyone seems to either love or hate this story, and I love it i figured it needs a 10.

Hey there Handsome,
you know I love this story. I think it's one of the best on the site, and I can't let it go down in history without being rated!
~Katie

You've got mad grammar skills, originality, great characterization. The story flows even at slower points when it seems to loose momentum you bring it back to a steady pace. Nicely done chap, nicely done.

Ok, to be honest this story needs some work, however, I can see where you are coming from. You have a good starting point and with some tweaking this could be a decent story. It looks like you're really good at developing a plot, the thing to work out is getting that plot to work for the reader. Don't give up, just regroup a few things.

This is a fun story! I've heard a lot about you as a writer, because there aren't many girls around here. I glanced through this story once before but I didn't have time to give it the attention it deserves. Now that I've read more of it I agree with the rest you are great!

This is a great story! It's a cool idea and well executed. If you fix the typos on the first page it would be a 10! The pictures are a nice touch as well.