razman

Wow...i loved this sooo much...its sick and reminds me of myself..yay

okay, i must admit, my zombie story isn't much better, but this is full of 'one liners'. The choices are pretty bad to put it nicely. 'Believe him' is a pathetic option. There is really no point in giving the choice in that case. I think it was just an excuse to add a room. Speaking of which, there aren't enough of them. The punctuality is also quite poor. I am not a great author, I am still in school, but this needs sorting out in many departments. I suggest making the story private and doing some more work on it.
Good Luck.

-razman-

Where the hell is the rest of the story. It is probably better off staying like though if it is like that for the rest of it. I'm not going to bother typing anything else.

*to donteatpoop* That was pretty damn funny.

Anyway...That was quite pathetic. Seriously where did you learn to spell? I was actually looking at all of the stories with the total rates ascending and checking out ones that have loads of people rating them badly. I did it for a laugh. This just wasn't funny, it was sad, stupid, depressing and disturbing. Go back to school, think about what you've done, correct your work....and then hang yourself.

ooooowwwwwww....You guys are harsh, but you are very right too. This story is crap. Plain and simple. I'm not going to go into detail, because there are so many things wrong. I'd say work on it, but the storyline is awful and it would be best to just delete it and start over. Unlucky.

I don't particularly like pokemon, but this one isn't too bad. I quite like the play style story side of it, but it could do with a bit less 'lame journey' and a bit more 'kick-ass, swearing characters' parts. More rooms are needed to, but other than that, keep up the work.

Great story. love this kinda thing and i like adding to it without having to wait for a review. Just one issue, how do you make it carry on forever when it's just for one day?

I enjoy quizzes and this was fun. More questions would've been better, but it's good anyway.