Milo

The best story I have read on the site so far. Each room long and actually tells a story. It seems like most other stories get to caught up in exploiting the gimicky notion of changing rooms. I think one of the strengths of the story is the observations and reflections that the protagonist makes about the situation of things. I like the Omega Man inspiration. But I want to see the story move beyond just what I saw in the movie. A question though, how much of this story is based or influenced by the book I Am Legend? I notice that you make the creatures more vampire like than the movie.

Forget the attic door. This story should start with Bobby holding the map in his hands. Why is Bobby such a wimp? Reading about him struggling to open the door and tiptoe around his parents is boring. Have him find the map, get sucked into a vortex to another world, and get chased by a dragon or something. Action, give us action! This story is listed under the "adventure" heading after all.