Morathi
Ratings & Comments
THE DAY
by realmofwonder
May 2, 2005
This story gives what it promises: the day. It's a pretty usual day, but with some unusual twists. Good job, I'm looking forward to seeing where this is going.
It's detailed, it's well thought out, and it's fun to play. Good job. This site could use more stories like this.
There's not too much of a story. Also, if you want to make an Inuyasha story, maybe include something to let people who haven't seen the show know what's going on.
(It's also not good form to give yourself a 10)
(It's also not good form to give yourself a 10)
A lot of rooms don't give you much choice, there isn't much description, and not too much happens in each room. I'm giving it higher than a one because the chapter level went more than a few deep, and I've seen worse stories.
Good story, but I would have liked it if more dialogue with the woman was included. Talking her down wasn't much of a challenge.
Try again with more descriptive rooms and expand on the plot more. It goes very quickly and one event doesn't really flow nicely to another.
Kind of a harsh rating, but there's not too much detail in the story and there's no capitalization. It doesn't seem all that thought out, and I don't really see a point to it. Maybe try again with a plan in mind for where the story is going. Also, make the responses funnier. I get that your goal in the story is to annoy people, but if you yell out 'whoo hoo, sex' when the teacher starts on the reproductive system, you'll propably get more than a dirty look.
It definately has potential, I'd like to see more. I like the simple statistics system, but I haven't seen it in use in the path I took. Some criticisms I have are that you couldn't choose to train as something that specializes in magic (the spell statistic), and not too much atmosphere was provided about the world this story takes place in.
Verisimilivirate is well written, and it has nice long rooms and a story (as opposed to 'your in a room and u c sumthing, what u du?'). The plot is interesting has has plenty of possibilities, I look forward to reading more.