sparkles5680

This is really good. I like how the story is written as if it were from that time period. That was a really good choice on what to make a story on. I enjoyed reading it. Well done!

I would say that the story has a good plot but it is not really a choose your own story. I really wish that when you find the other door you could look at other things besides the time machine. But overall I really enjoyed reading this. Nice short story when you five minutes free. I think that it is also a good thing that those other chooses are endings because then you could imagine what it is like by yourself.

This was very confusing to read. For example, when Mark meets his dad, I didn't know who was who when they were being described. I also thought that the endings were very rushed. I did the story four different times, with different scenarios, and the endings were all the same, "Mark Tomas died". I was also very confused with the fact how Mark was at one spot and then one sentence later, he is at a completely different spot. The characters were not described well, nor were the places. Then at one point he gets a job as a bartender. If you described how the bar looked or what Mark had to do to get the job, I think that it would be a better story. Plus there should be some more backstory on why his parents left him and describing the house. If the story was more descriptive and less rushed, I think it could have been much better.