KaticaLocke

This gets a 6 for effort and wit. It's a little bare in places, and confusing when the dialogue runs together in one paragraph, but I'd love to read more of it.

Interesting story, good writing, I'd enjoy seeing more rooms added to this. I only noticed one spelling error -- squeeling tires should be squealing -- I can't remember exactly which room it was, though. And this is just the opinion of an insensitive bitch, but there were moments when the narrator's self-pity seemed a little thick. I realize his wife was killed, but even ligitimate self-pity annoys me sometimes. Even so, I love your writing and look forward to reading more of it.