Blade of the Hollow

Comments & Ratings

Author Rating Date Comment
EndMaster
EndMaster
Nov 4, 2019
by EndMaster on Nov 4, 2019
ShoujoAddict
ShoujoAddict
Nov 3, 2019
I liked the story, the visual descriptions were striking and the atmosphere was instantly welcoming to the reader. That scene where you learn about your fellow hollow fighters is particularly memorable. Also, although a tiny bit better job could've been done with the protagonist, I think the personality of the remaining characters were fleshed out pretty nicely.

Going into more detail about the protagonist, I liked the touch that you feel a sense of responsiblity and like you own something to the princess because she returned your limbs to you. At the same time you always get a feeling of dread in the back of the mind that what you're doing is wrong. Now, I'm used to reading about protagonists that have already been fleshed out and not the type of 'blank slate' protag that I would have to decide the personality for. This one felt more like the 'blank slate' type character, which I'm not used to so it felt kinda weird.

As for the grammar part, nothing major. A few syntax errors here and there, some punctuation ones too, nothing that a little proofreading can't remove and it didn't interfere with the narrative.

Well, now I come to the part thats been kinda nagging me. The story felt way too, uh supernatural-ish. I know its fantasy and so its fine but for some reason I was much much more interested to know the story of how the thief was in his past, and how he was caught stealing and escaping prison. Detailed descriptions of his past life experiences now and then, in between the constant magical quests and stuff, would've kinda made the world a touch more believable. At one point I just got saturated with the enchanted weapons and evil monsters theme. A little bit of variety would prevent that.

Overall, pretty nicely done Camelon! Thanks for that entertaining read!
by ShoujoAddict on Nov 3, 2019
ninjapitka
ninjapitka
Nov 1, 2019
by ninjapitka on Nov 1, 2019

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