Extend the Story - Add a Room

You cruise on down to Pep-Boys cause you know they got cheap subwoofers and amps to hook up a decent piece of junk for your car. The guy at the counter charges you $386.99 and installs the whole deal in just 4 weeks. During that time, you had to walk to safeway yet again and get made fun of for having only $12 or so dollars left which you spent on Burger King and Porno mags.

Finally, at the end of four weeks, which is the amount of time it took the nerdy guy to run two wires from the front of the car to the back, because he had to drill through about 20 feet of steel reinforced steel with aluminum coated steel holding up the car with steel bearings wrapped in a titanium shield for protection, you get it back and decide to take it for a spin.

The cool thing is that the subwoofer works really well. It vibrates all surrounding objects and causes small animals to go deaf. You consider this a well-waited for accomplishment. There is a problem though. The battery in your Lincoln is so weak that it couldn't power a cell phone, much more a large cheap-power-draining amplifier. Every time you turn off your car, it dies and leaks a little bit of battery acid onto everything. Luckily, it's steel reinforced, titanium steel steel titanium stuff is un-affected. Your cement wheel is though...

You have no money and a dead battery. There's no spare tire and your cement one is melting at the speed of sheep dying from farmers raping them. That statement made no sense to you, you thought. Time to fix the problem. You have $2.00 and no tire... dead battery.

Well, you could put duck tape all over your cement tire and forget anything ever happened. That would cost two dollars, but there's still the issue of the battery.

Or you could buy 200 AA batteries, tape them together and create about 12v which is enough to power your car for about 5 seconds, but maybe enough to give it a rolling start. That'll cost $2.00 at Safeway with your employeee discount of 97% off anything rediculous.

Get 200 AA batteries