Only one way out
Upon arriving, you find this message taped to your office door, which is locked.
"Dear Sir or Madam,
We regret to inform you that although you have been working here for three years, we are still uncertain as to your gender.
We rejoice, however, in notifying you that you are fired at once for your horrific abuse of the English language. To be perfectly honest, we are not sure that you were actually attempting English, but our linguist could find no closer match.
It also occured to us that you could be deliberately and terribly butchering the language; we hope that we are wrong, for otherwise we will have to kill you. Your assistant wishes to add that she hopes you did have cruel linguicidal intentions, and that I will allow her to kill you herself. I am currently employing all of my restraint in refusing her well-meaning offer.
Last of all, we must face the possibility that your sickening attempt at communication reveals veritable ignorance on your behalf, in which case we urge you to seek help immediately.
Sincerely,
One who is grateful to be no longer responsible for your "work"
P.S. Please note that this office holds no personal grudges against you; we are simply attempting to enforce a few reasonable laws of order on this bleak chaos that is now our world.
"Dear Sir or Madam,
We regret to inform you that although you have been working here for three years, we are still uncertain as to your gender.
We rejoice, however, in notifying you that you are fired at once for your horrific abuse of the English language. To be perfectly honest, we are not sure that you were actually attempting English, but our linguist could find no closer match.
It also occured to us that you could be deliberately and terribly butchering the language; we hope that we are wrong, for otherwise we will have to kill you. Your assistant wishes to add that she hopes you did have cruel linguicidal intentions, and that I will allow her to kill you herself. I am currently employing all of my restraint in refusing her well-meaning offer.
Last of all, we must face the possibility that your sickening attempt at communication reveals veritable ignorance on your behalf, in which case we urge you to seek help immediately.
Sincerely,
One who is grateful to be no longer responsible for your "work"
P.S. Please note that this office holds no personal grudges against you; we are simply attempting to enforce a few reasonable laws of order on this bleak chaos that is now our world.
