Steve-The Text Adventure; Table of Contents and Previously Ons
Chapter 2:
Previously on Steve, we met Steve, a mild mannered guy who just happened to wake up on his best bud, Robbie's coach. Luckily for Steve, he still had his trusty blue Hawaiian shirt, part cloth, part life companion. After attempting to speak to Robbie but being turned away because he was "Busy" in his room, you move out to the patio, where you find your other friend Burger quietly meditating. So of course being the very best friend you can be, you startle the hell out of him. Screwing something up in the space time fabric of reality and unleashing a door to hell. As most doors to hell generally do, this one spews out demons. After fighting them for a few minutes, you and Burger grab Robbie and take him to your beige 2000 Toyota corolla car named "Norman". Your car then proceeds to put up a shield of light and then strike down a nearby demon, saving you and your friends' collective ass. In response, they blow up Robbie's apartment. This annoys you because you know, you had stuff in there. Anyways you all hop in him and drive south.
Chapter 3:
On your travels south, you come upon a Volvo, broken down on the side of the road. A mysterious battle weary woman stands beside it. Depending on how much of a dick you choose Steve to be, you either impress her with your kindness or convince her to violate Robbie, either way, after a few mysterious moments, she leaves and you drive on. A while later, you decide on where to drive towards, you first choose Margaritaville but have to change because you realize it is actually not real. You settle on Disneyland because it's the happiest place on earth. However moments later, Michael Tucker and Derek Bradshaw show up in their time traveling Buick and convince you to go to Santa Cruize. Right before rolling into Santa Cruiz, you come upon a Denny's where you stop for some food. You meet a wonderful little angry hairy security leprechaun named Scott Marden who writes wonderful poetry in the parking lot. Later demons throw him through a window in Denny and try to kill you. However the mysterious woman from the Volvo slices them down. She turns out to be a Morman Warrior named Jourdan Lance. And she's been tasked with protecting you. You drive off and arrive in Santa Cruiz.
Chapter 4:
Upon arrival to Santa Cruiz, you engage in battle with it's nude guards. The fight however is stopped by Michael Tucker who is apparently their leader. He takes you to his dorm to talk to you. On your way you overhear a T.V. news program explaining that demons are attacking people all over the U.S. Mike tells you that he was visited by his future self and that he must now explain the history of the Mormons and evil.
"You see we have a legend here in SC, Long ago before man developed modern civilization there was a people, a simpler more natural people. During these times, Heaven and Hell had not fully developed so demons still roamed the Earth. Humanity was almost wiped out for it not for a special order of people. This order valiantly fought off the demons. War raged between the Hell and the Order until an unlikely fellowship took a heavenly chariot deep into the center of Hell itself and beat the Devil's apprentice at its own game. From then on, the demons were sealed in Hell. It has stayed that way for many ages. Over the eons, man has evolved and the order of people split into two. One faction believed that they need to be ever vigilant for the demons may return. It moved up and formed Utah, a training ground where they have developed many warriors just for the problem we have today. Your angry friend, Jourdan is one of these." "What of the other faction?" Robbie asks. "Well they discovered Pot and never really developed the whole clothing thing and well, here we are, Santa Cruz, land of the ancient warriors."
Jourdan then informs you that the Mormons have amassed a force great enough to challenge the demons. Unfortunately it's in Utah, where their stronghold is, but they need Steve. Before leaving however, the leader of the nude guards, Adam Harrison, asks to join you in your adventures. You were gonna say no, but he only wears a cowboy hat, so you say yes. In order to make room, you tie Scott to the hood of the car and off you go to Utah. While on your way to Utah, you realize that you never really stopped for gas, and thusly you run out and Norman comes to a stop. While stopped, Nicole Sasaki and her man-love beast the Roberek appear and announce that she is Satan's apprentice and that she will destroy you and your friends. She then disappears and a pack of demons appear and try to kill you. But your friends defeat them. Then a couple of big hairy lesbians trade you gas for Scott. You then arrive at Utah. The final battle awaits.
Previously on Steve, we met Steve, a mild mannered guy who just happened to wake up on his best bud, Robbie's coach. Luckily for Steve, he still had his trusty blue Hawaiian shirt, part cloth, part life companion. After attempting to speak to Robbie but being turned away because he was "Busy" in his room, you move out to the patio, where you find your other friend Burger quietly meditating. So of course being the very best friend you can be, you startle the hell out of him. Screwing something up in the space time fabric of reality and unleashing a door to hell. As most doors to hell generally do, this one spews out demons. After fighting them for a few minutes, you and Burger grab Robbie and take him to your beige 2000 Toyota corolla car named "Norman". Your car then proceeds to put up a shield of light and then strike down a nearby demon, saving you and your friends' collective ass. In response, they blow up Robbie's apartment. This annoys you because you know, you had stuff in there. Anyways you all hop in him and drive south.
Chapter 3:
On your travels south, you come upon a Volvo, broken down on the side of the road. A mysterious battle weary woman stands beside it. Depending on how much of a dick you choose Steve to be, you either impress her with your kindness or convince her to violate Robbie, either way, after a few mysterious moments, she leaves and you drive on. A while later, you decide on where to drive towards, you first choose Margaritaville but have to change because you realize it is actually not real. You settle on Disneyland because it's the happiest place on earth. However moments later, Michael Tucker and Derek Bradshaw show up in their time traveling Buick and convince you to go to Santa Cruize. Right before rolling into Santa Cruiz, you come upon a Denny's where you stop for some food. You meet a wonderful little angry hairy security leprechaun named Scott Marden who writes wonderful poetry in the parking lot. Later demons throw him through a window in Denny and try to kill you. However the mysterious woman from the Volvo slices them down. She turns out to be a Morman Warrior named Jourdan Lance. And she's been tasked with protecting you. You drive off and arrive in Santa Cruiz.
Chapter 4:
Upon arrival to Santa Cruiz, you engage in battle with it's nude guards. The fight however is stopped by Michael Tucker who is apparently their leader. He takes you to his dorm to talk to you. On your way you overhear a T.V. news program explaining that demons are attacking people all over the U.S. Mike tells you that he was visited by his future self and that he must now explain the history of the Mormons and evil.
"You see we have a legend here in SC, Long ago before man developed modern civilization there was a people, a simpler more natural people. During these times, Heaven and Hell had not fully developed so demons still roamed the Earth. Humanity was almost wiped out for it not for a special order of people. This order valiantly fought off the demons. War raged between the Hell and the Order until an unlikely fellowship took a heavenly chariot deep into the center of Hell itself and beat the Devil's apprentice at its own game. From then on, the demons were sealed in Hell. It has stayed that way for many ages. Over the eons, man has evolved and the order of people split into two. One faction believed that they need to be ever vigilant for the demons may return. It moved up and formed Utah, a training ground where they have developed many warriors just for the problem we have today. Your angry friend, Jourdan is one of these." "What of the other faction?" Robbie asks. "Well they discovered Pot and never really developed the whole clothing thing and well, here we are, Santa Cruz, land of the ancient warriors."
Jourdan then informs you that the Mormons have amassed a force great enough to challenge the demons. Unfortunately it's in Utah, where their stronghold is, but they need Steve. Before leaving however, the leader of the nude guards, Adam Harrison, asks to join you in your adventures. You were gonna say no, but he only wears a cowboy hat, so you say yes. In order to make room, you tie Scott to the hood of the car and off you go to Utah. While on your way to Utah, you realize that you never really stopped for gas, and thusly you run out and Norman comes to a stop. While stopped, Nicole Sasaki and her man-love beast the Roberek appear and announce that she is Satan's apprentice and that she will destroy you and your friends. She then disappears and a pack of demons appear and try to kill you. But your friends defeat them. Then a couple of big hairy lesbians trade you gas for Scott. You then arrive at Utah. The final battle awaits.
