Extend the Story - Add a Room

October 27, 1620

Dearest Diary,

I'm beginning to feel that you're the only friend I've got on this God-forsaken hellhole. Things have really gone downhill!

Turns out my suspicions were correct. The whole ship talks of mutiny every day. Let me explain.

I instituted a totalitatian captaincy from the get-go. I knew if I let anything get out of hand the ship would wind up sinking, so I made sure nothing bad could happen.

The first thing I did was ban procreation on the ship. Moses Fletcher, one of our ship's self-proclaimed "playas," didn't take this too well.

"What the fuck, Jones?" he barked at me. "What are you sayin', I can't screw my wife, girlfriend, sister, or cousin?"

"Yeah, that's what I'm saying," I replied. "And I'm the captain. So you'll listen to me."

"I'll pop a cap in yo' ass," he muttered. "I'm Moses Fletcher, and I'm making an eleventh commandment: Thou Shalt Fuck Your Wife, Girlfriend, Sister, and Cousin. What's a little banging gonna do to the ship, anyway?"

"Make it sink. It's rocky enough on here without you and your wife and girlfriend having the wildest threesome ever."

"I'm not putting up with this," Moses decried. "I'll make sure you're not captain."

My ban on sexual promiscuity truly didn't sit well with anyone, particularly the men. But it exploded into numerous death threats against me when I discovered that two people broke my rule and I had to take extreme measures. Stephen Hopkins and his wife Elizabeth had a child! This proved they were lawbreakers, so I unfortunately had no choice but to decapitate young Oceanus. This went over very poorly with many people on the ship.

This first incident worried me, but then it got even worse. See, next I outlawed alcohol. First off, it's against all Puritan code to have beer at all, but some of our more rowdy passengers (Moses among them) decided to bring the filth along. This just made me more unpopular.

And then came the killer. I didn't allow anyone to walk around in the nude. That would've led to coveting your neighbor's wife and/or children, but no one cared.

Worst of all, our problems also lie in the hands of God. The sinning life these people lead has caused Him to send innumerable storms upon our ship.

I'm really worried, diary. I don't know what I should do. I know the New World is close, but I need to hang on until we get there!

Institute more draconian laws!