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The Teatime Of Infinity by Usoki
The truth is, you're probably right, Mr. Reader. Will was a better character while he was alive.

Nevertheless, you did kill him. And Will isn't that happy. "What was the for?!" he demands. "Why'd you kill me?"

"Author's liberties..." you mumble, trailing off. "Look, Will, I'm sorry. I just thought that you'd make a good goat. You do eat goat cheese, after all."

Will blushes. "How do you know that!"

"This story is 3rd person central, Will," you explain slowly, as if he was in kindergarten. "I know everything about you."

Will shakes his head. "I don't think so. This story's got some very 2nd-personish qualities. You're talking about yourself as you, and you're narrating my life at the exact time it happens."

Will is right. "Well," you begin, then trail off. "Let's say this is 2nd-and-a-half-person omniscent. I still know everything."

"Well, I can guarantee you I only ate goat cheese for the nutrients."
Will stamps his foot. "You've told me about infinite power, and I want it."

You hesitate. You do owe Will, as you turned him into a Capra aegagrus hircus. Maybe you should pay him back by giving him infinite power?
No, that'd wreck the cosmos! Besides, he doesn't even have his crumpet anymore.
End Of Story

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