Extend the Story - Add a Room

So, genius, you just wait for 3 months (as 3 is the magic number in almost every story) for the extraterrestrial attack.

And after three months, you stand in awe as it happens. As they know you are the only person who knows they are here, they come for you first.

The one named ET approaches you. "We have decided to leave. Our home planet of Moon has been attacked. Rumors say that some country 1500 years in the future will land on it. We must prepare."

And so the aliens do leave. What luck. By doing nothing, you have stopped everyone's death. By being a careless, insensitive, lethargic asshole you have saved earth.

Unfortunately, the ChristKnife is still out your reach. For no apparent reason, you decide to go to Iceland.

And what another good stroke of luck, you find out the ChristKnife is in the stomach of a polar bear (you used the metal-detector you stole from the Pope).

Ask for the Knife politely.