TRASH
You take off like a thief in the night with your find. You immediately get back to your trailer and get in your truck to drive to the pawn shop. When you get there, Dale sees you and rolls his eyes.
"Mel, you better not be trying to sell me broken VCRs again, because I'm in no mood for it today."
"Will you fuckin' forget about that already? Look at what I got! You're gonna fuckin' shit your pants! Solid gold motherfucker!" you say and slam the candlestick on his counter.
Dale's eyes widen, but he looks suspicious.
"Mel where'd you get this? Did you spray paint this gold?"
"I ain't bullshittin' man! I found it at that crazy ol' cat lady's house when I was cleaning out her garage!"
"Hmmm, well that does make me more inclined to believe your scamming ass. She's been living there for years; I wouldn't be surprised if she had more shit like this in her house. Wait you didn't fuckin' steal this did you?"
"What the fuck? I just told you I found it in her garage! She told me to throw everything out! And since when the hell do you have a conscience Dale? Would it fuckin' matter if I had stolen it?"
"No I guess not. Okay well I guess I'll give ya two hundred for it."
"Fuck off Dale, I know its worth more than that."
"You ain't gonna get a better price anywhere else Mel."
"The hell I can't. Look I know you're gonna make a fortune off of this, so you better give me a better figure than that, or else I go home and melt this down to make jewelry for Tina."
"Alright, five hundred, but that's it."
"I'll take it, and I'll take that rifle with the scope you got on the wall back there too! I could use another one; it's getting near hunting season."
You come home with a new gun and a shit load of money, your quick side trip to the liquor store also allows you to come home with enough beer to last you through the night. You practice shooting your new rifle at some wrecked car in the trailer park until Tina comes home.
"Well someone got a new toy to play with." She says.
"Yeah, now get inside and get naked baby, I want to play with my old toy now."
Now you'd think that line would get you bitched at and locked out of the trailer, but you just can't lose today. Who says you need a job to get by in life?
"Mel, you better not be trying to sell me broken VCRs again, because I'm in no mood for it today."
"Will you fuckin' forget about that already? Look at what I got! You're gonna fuckin' shit your pants! Solid gold motherfucker!" you say and slam the candlestick on his counter.
Dale's eyes widen, but he looks suspicious.
"Mel where'd you get this? Did you spray paint this gold?"
"I ain't bullshittin' man! I found it at that crazy ol' cat lady's house when I was cleaning out her garage!"
"Hmmm, well that does make me more inclined to believe your scamming ass. She's been living there for years; I wouldn't be surprised if she had more shit like this in her house. Wait you didn't fuckin' steal this did you?"
"What the fuck? I just told you I found it in her garage! She told me to throw everything out! And since when the hell do you have a conscience Dale? Would it fuckin' matter if I had stolen it?"
"No I guess not. Okay well I guess I'll give ya two hundred for it."
"Fuck off Dale, I know its worth more than that."
"You ain't gonna get a better price anywhere else Mel."
"The hell I can't. Look I know you're gonna make a fortune off of this, so you better give me a better figure than that, or else I go home and melt this down to make jewelry for Tina."
"Alright, five hundred, but that's it."
"I'll take it, and I'll take that rifle with the scope you got on the wall back there too! I could use another one; it's getting near hunting season."
You come home with a new gun and a shit load of money, your quick side trip to the liquor store also allows you to come home with enough beer to last you through the night. You practice shooting your new rifle at some wrecked car in the trailer park until Tina comes home.
"Well someone got a new toy to play with." She says.
"Yeah, now get inside and get naked baby, I want to play with my old toy now."
Now you'd think that line would get you bitched at and locked out of the trailer, but you just can't lose today. Who says you need a job to get by in life?
