TRASH
You can't help but laugh in his desperate face.
"Ha ha ha! Get with one of those girls boy? Are you crazy? You ain't got a chance! They're strippers, they don't want you! Shit most of them are lezzies anyway!"
"Yeah, but you just said "
"I know what I just said son, but you ain't payin' attention! You can't get with one of those girls wait, you rich?"
"Um no."
"Well you can't get with one of them! Only thing those girls care about is money an' even then they'd only be with you for your money! No, you gotta getcher yourself a regular woman. Well maybe in your case a little less than regular. And what I mean by that is fat. I'm sorry to break it to ya, but I reckon that's the only kind you're gonna get. But that's okay too! I mean fat women I hear are easier to please an' shit. I mean that's what I heard anyway, since I'd never fuck one of those sows. But a man like yourself can't afford to be choosey. Gotta get it where ya can." You take another drink, after passing this sagely advice along to your now speechless patron. You see Tina coming up to you, looking as sexy and as pissed off as usual.
"Well did you even SEE my act, or were you too busy drinking?"
"Goddammit woman, you were wiggling your ass and shaking your tits up there on stage in front of fuckin' bright lights! How the fuck wouldn't I have been able to seen it? You were great baby." You say taking another drink. This remark seems to please Tina, and she kisses you over the bar and walks back to the changing room.
You watch her ass as she walks away.
"Boy Howdy! Goddamn I'm gonna fuck me some of that tonight! My dick's about to drill a hole right through this fucking bar." You say, as the man looks at you in amazement.
"You but but YOU! You got a stripper girlfriend!"
"Eh? Well yeah, I said you can't get one, never said I couldn't!"
"But you're no fucking prize!" the man says starting to get angry. "Why can you get a sexy girl and I can't? Argh! STUPID FUCKING BITCHES! I HATE ALL OF THEM!"
"You need some meds or something?"
"FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!" The man screams and breaks a bottle over your head.
"Argh shit!" you say and fall to the floor. He leaps over the bar brandishing the biggest blade you've ever seen. You manage to give him a kick before he can pounce on you, which allows you time to grab the bar's shotgun. Upon realizing the man brought a knife to a gun fight, he leaps back over the bar as you rack the gun back ready to do major damage with it.
Nothing like shooting a shotgun when you're tipsy though, in your effort to blast a hole in his ass you successfully blast holes in the walls of the place, causing people to start ducking for cover. The man attempts to back track as the exit door suddenly explodes into splinters in front of him. This is followed by his leg exploding into unrecognizable gore underneath him.
"ARRRRRRGH!!! NO! AGGGGH!" he yells grabbing on to the bloody mess that was once his leg.
"Hot damn! Got that sombitch! Woowhee!" you shout, and step from behind the bar moving towards the man, as the rest of the crowd hides wondering what you're going to do next.
You point the shotgun as you stand over him; he tries to beg for his life. You pull the trigger. CLICK!
"Well, well, looks like it was your lucky day mammy rammer." You say. "But I guess I owe you this, goodnight dickhead!" you add smacking him in the head with the butt of a gun, knocking him unconscious.
Tina comes up to you.
"While I know from our toilet your aim isn't the best, but fuck couldn't have gotten him in one shot? Look at this place! They're gonna make me pay for this and probably fire you! Shit, you better get to the clinic and get that looked at."
You spend the rest of the night at the clinic getting your head sewed up, and go home passing out from a combination of the booze you drank and the morphine they used on you. You sleep through the entire next day.
So in other words, back to normal.
"Ha ha ha! Get with one of those girls boy? Are you crazy? You ain't got a chance! They're strippers, they don't want you! Shit most of them are lezzies anyway!"
"Yeah, but you just said "
"I know what I just said son, but you ain't payin' attention! You can't get with one of those girls wait, you rich?"
"Um no."
"Well you can't get with one of them! Only thing those girls care about is money an' even then they'd only be with you for your money! No, you gotta getcher yourself a regular woman. Well maybe in your case a little less than regular. And what I mean by that is fat. I'm sorry to break it to ya, but I reckon that's the only kind you're gonna get. But that's okay too! I mean fat women I hear are easier to please an' shit. I mean that's what I heard anyway, since I'd never fuck one of those sows. But a man like yourself can't afford to be choosey. Gotta get it where ya can." You take another drink, after passing this sagely advice along to your now speechless patron. You see Tina coming up to you, looking as sexy and as pissed off as usual.
"Well did you even SEE my act, or were you too busy drinking?"
"Goddammit woman, you were wiggling your ass and shaking your tits up there on stage in front of fuckin' bright lights! How the fuck wouldn't I have been able to seen it? You were great baby." You say taking another drink. This remark seems to please Tina, and she kisses you over the bar and walks back to the changing room.
You watch her ass as she walks away.
"Boy Howdy! Goddamn I'm gonna fuck me some of that tonight! My dick's about to drill a hole right through this fucking bar." You say, as the man looks at you in amazement.
"You but but YOU! You got a stripper girlfriend!"
"Eh? Well yeah, I said you can't get one, never said I couldn't!"
"But you're no fucking prize!" the man says starting to get angry. "Why can you get a sexy girl and I can't? Argh! STUPID FUCKING BITCHES! I HATE ALL OF THEM!"
"You need some meds or something?"
"FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!" The man screams and breaks a bottle over your head.
"Argh shit!" you say and fall to the floor. He leaps over the bar brandishing the biggest blade you've ever seen. You manage to give him a kick before he can pounce on you, which allows you time to grab the bar's shotgun. Upon realizing the man brought a knife to a gun fight, he leaps back over the bar as you rack the gun back ready to do major damage with it.
Nothing like shooting a shotgun when you're tipsy though, in your effort to blast a hole in his ass you successfully blast holes in the walls of the place, causing people to start ducking for cover. The man attempts to back track as the exit door suddenly explodes into splinters in front of him. This is followed by his leg exploding into unrecognizable gore underneath him.
"ARRRRRRGH!!! NO! AGGGGH!" he yells grabbing on to the bloody mess that was once his leg.
"Hot damn! Got that sombitch! Woowhee!" you shout, and step from behind the bar moving towards the man, as the rest of the crowd hides wondering what you're going to do next.
You point the shotgun as you stand over him; he tries to beg for his life. You pull the trigger. CLICK!
"Well, well, looks like it was your lucky day mammy rammer." You say. "But I guess I owe you this, goodnight dickhead!" you add smacking him in the head with the butt of a gun, knocking him unconscious.
Tina comes up to you.
"While I know from our toilet your aim isn't the best, but fuck couldn't have gotten him in one shot? Look at this place! They're gonna make me pay for this and probably fire you! Shit, you better get to the clinic and get that looked at."
You spend the rest of the night at the clinic getting your head sewed up, and go home passing out from a combination of the booze you drank and the morphine they used on you. You sleep through the entire next day.
So in other words, back to normal.
