As you exit Postal Dude's trailer he imparts his final words unto you, saying in his epic manly voice: "𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐞𝐧, 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐈 𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐭 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝟑𝟒, 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰." Then you are temporarily blinded by the sun.

When your vision returns you uncover your eyes to realize it wasn't the sun, it was a neon sign adjacent to a billboard with a manga illustration of an astronaut who is 99% pure silicone and lean muscle posing by a motorcycle. Whoever said sex doesn't sell? Because it doesn't or I wouldn't be a virgin.

An objective appears in mid-air defying all laws of everything saying "𝔻𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕜 ℕ𝕦𝕜𝕨𝕖𝕚𝕤𝕖𝕣!" When you touch the text your hand phases through it like some kind of intangible energy. More unsettling is the fact that you now have an irresistible urge to 𝔻𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕜 ℕ𝕦𝕜𝕨𝕖𝕚𝕤𝕖𝕣!

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘰, 𝘥𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘳? 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘰 *said while chewing gum*
ᴀsᴋ ᴘᴏsᴛᴀʟ ᴅᴜᴅᴇ ғᴏʀ ɴᴜᴋᴡᴇɪsᴇʀ ғʀᴏᴍ ʜɪs ғʀɪᴅɢᴇ, ɪᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ɴɪᴄᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʙᴀᴄᴏɴ ʟᴀᴅʏ
End Of Story

Variable Names & Values are required for a choice to show

Up to 350px x 350px, 50,000 byte file size limit
The owner of this story will be reviewing your submission before publication. Please confirm your spelling, punctuation, and adherence to any of the story owner's guidelines before submitting.