Thesis

The security officer's grin quite literally melts away as you inadvertently trigger a high-intensity heat beam that bores through his face. Fortunately, this fatal accident doesn't trouble you for long. Unfortunately, it's because the beam also pierces a fuel cell behind the man, causing the Drunken Tortoise (and all those aboard, yourself included) to be reduced to radioactive vapor in a fraction of a second.

Congratulations, you successfully escaped your thesis! By, you know, dying horribly and killing others with your wanton dumbness.