[Natsu and Gray see an odd request on the board.]
Natsu Dragneel: Hmmm...That's one creepy looking job request...
Gray Fullbuster: That's for sure...
Loke:[Walking towards them] I forgot you guys were back, what's up?
ND: Not much man...What the heck!?! I can't even read it...
Lucy Heartfilia:[Slides in next to Loke] Read what!?!
Loke:[Freaked out] *Woah!* Your back too Lucy!?!
LH: Jeez, it's real nice to see you too!...What is your problem with me?
Loke:[Stammering] I-Uh-Eh-I-Uh...Nothing![Runs right into Erza.]
Erza Scarlet: No way![Loke gets knocked to the floor.] You will not be taking any requests!
Lucy Heartfilia:[To Loke on the ground, sarcastically] Real smooth...
Cana Alberona: Do they have to be so noisy?
Chico Hammitt: Is that a trick question?
Romeo Conbolt: Who cares? They're like the coolest!
CA & Clayton Grimm: You're kidding me, right!?!
CG: Look kid! You shouldn't look up to such idiots like them...It took them idiots two hours, just to get their heads unstuck...and me and Elf had to help them...Besides, you got Griff and Nidhogg to look up to anyways…
ND:[Reading the request]
Decipher this text and I'll see you'll
Increase your wealth by 500,000 jewel!
This one sounds like a winner to me,[To Happy] what do you think!?!
Happy: Sure does!
GF: So it's a translation job!?! That's a weird request for a guild...[Sees text]...Wait, that's some kind of crazy, ancient stuff...No one's gonna be able to read that!
Hap: Hold on! It's written in modern letters too!
ES: I thought I told you, No jobs!
CG: Shouldn't you guys be doing something else, besides taking any old dumb jobs!?!
ND: Oh yeah! Like what?
CG: Oh...I don't know...How about making a case for yourselves!?! From what the locals said, you saved their hides before we got there...not that any old magic can kill demons in the first place...but still, if you can tell Papa Mak about how you saved an entire village, he might loosen up on the punishment...that's what I'd do!
LH: That's...actually not a bad idea!
GF: Yeah...It's downright genius...
CG: Really!?! It's common sense!
Elfman Strauss: Well "common sense" isn't exactly part of their vocabulary...
ND: Whatever...While Lucy makes a case for us, I'll see if I can do this really quick...[Reads modern letters]
CG:[Also reading along] Uugo...Deru...
ND: Oh yeah, I can totally read that! Lets see...Uugo deru rasuchi borokania...What the-That's crazy!
[Changeling activates.]
MC: What's going on?
WM: That's just sad...Those kids are so scared of the master's punishment, they're actually sweating rainbows...
MC: That's enough booze for you...
[Changeling ends.]
LH:[Now in Gray Fullbuster's body] *Shivers* So cold...
ElfS:[Now in Griffin's body] What!?! Ice wizards don't get cold ya big crybaby!
LH:*Shivers* I'm serious you guys, would somebody turn up the heat before I freeze to death in here! Pretty please!
GF:[Now in Lucy Heartfilia's body.] *Uh!* What the-What's going on! My chest feels really weird all of a sudden, like it's heavy! My back's killing me...
CG:[Now in Chico Hammitt's body.] Hmmm...All I feel is a bit of a sore back...And...Lighter…? Certainly is annoying...
Griff:[Now in Elfman Strauss’ body.] Weird...Aside from feeling much bigger than usual, I feel fine...Great in fact!
Chico Hammitt:[Now in Clayton Grimm's body] I feel bigger too...And a whole lot heavier...
MC: Hey! Are you feeling alright Lucy? Your voice seems awfully low...
LH: What are you talking about I--[Sees her body.] WHAT THE!?!
ND:[Now in Loke's body. Still on the floor.] That's weird...I don't remember lying down on the floor like that...
Loke:[Now in Natsu Dragneel's body.] Hold on...I thought I was on the floor...[Sees Gray in Lucy's body.] *Screams!* [Runs out of the guild hall.]
GF: What's your problem!?! You can't face me Dragon Breath!?! *Uh!* Why do I sound like a girl!?!
MC: I'm no doctor, but I'd say it's because you are a girl...
ES:[Now in Happy's body. Firm and composed.] Why is everyone acting so foolishly!?!
Hap:[Now in Erza Scarlet's body.] Oh wow Natsu! Check it out! Huh!?! Where did he go?
ND: I'm standing right here![Unaware of the tinted glasses.] Why is this place so dark!?!
Hap: I could be wrong, but I don't think I've always had these.[Grabbing both breasts.] Have I? Have I?
[While the men are gawking over Happy's actions, Erza is shocked, and attempts to attack Happy in her body.]
ES: Why you!!!*Clank!*[Erza is stunned from kicking her armored chest.]
Hap: And I got cool armor too!
ES:[Falls to the ground. Disappointed in herself.] I don't understand what's happened to me!?! I've never felt so tiny and weak before. It's like I somehow requipped into...a cat...
CA: Why do they have to ruin my quality drinking time?
RC: There so cool, they couldn't ruin anything!
CA: That's, kinda their thing...
Fairy Tail:[Dumbfounded]
LH: Okay, I'm starting to get really freaked out! First I'm totally freezing, and now there's a creepy look-alike of me!
GF: What are you talking about!?!
ES: How can you be such an idiot! Don't you realize what has happened to us!?! We've all switched bodies!
Gang: What!?!
ND: Stop fooling around Happy!
ES: I'M ERZA, YOU DIMWIT!
Hap: If your gonna yell at me Loke, do it to my face!
ES: SILENCE!
LH: You mean...
ES: Yes, Natsu and Loke, Gray and Lucy, Clayton and Chico, Elfman and Griffin, and worst of all, Happy and I, we have all switched bodies!
Gang:[Shocked] HUH!
Hap: Why is switching with ME the worst of all!?!
Grant Chanty:[In Magma Scarlet's body, but due to the fact that they're both Human Golems, Grant retains his masculine body and voice, but his height, skin tone, hair color, and everything else are the same as Magma had it. Same thing with Magma, who's now in Delilah's body.]
Where in the blazes is my fiddle!?! John? Mary? Captain? Where is it![Looks around Fairy Tail.] Where in the sam hell am I? And why am I wearing a woman's blouse and a mini skirt!?!
Gang: Magma!?!
GC: What!?! Are you all blind!?! It's me! Grant!
ES:[Weeping] Oh, no! My sweet little baby girl has switched bodies too![Grabs Grant.] Grant! Where was the last place you remember being in?
Magma Grimm-Scarlet:[In Delilah Hammitt's body] I'm right here mother!
ES:[Hugging Magma, now in Delilah's body] Oh thank goodness!
CG: Wait...If Grant is in Magma's body...And Magma is in Delilah's body...Then Delilah must be in Grant's body![Grabbing Grant] Grant! Where do you remember being last?!
GC: Hang on...[Reforges some pants, rips of his blouse.]
...Now...the last place I remember is being on The Flying Exceed, docked at Hargeon...While we were turning in the gold, and buying citrus so we don't get scurvy...I was keeping the crew entertained...OH NO!!!
CMC: WHAT!?!
GC: Me shirts and doublets are at the town's laundromat!
CMC:[Realizing what he was saying] Meaning...
[Meanwhile, in Hargeon harbor.]
Delilah Hammitt:[Now in Grant's body] Huh!?! Where am I?[Sees she's back at Hargeon, on The Flying Exceed.] Why am I back here? Why do I have a fiddle in my hands...AAAHHH!!! Where's my shirt!?! It's really nippy out her...Huh!?![Sees the rest of the exceed crew.]
Exceed Crew:[Gawking over Magma's familiar voluptuous body.]
DH:[Embarrassed] AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
Little John: Oy, all you scallywags! What you rubbernecking over!?! Haven't ye all see a woman's body before? Show some respect and avert ye deadlights! On the double!!!
Exceed Crew: Yes, quartermaster John, sir!
Jonesy the Helmsman: Captain Havoc, on deck!
Polly:[Flies down from her Crow's Nest] Good to see you, Captain! Huh? Charlie!?! Why do you look like a lassie!?! And why are ye knickers out and about!?!
Captain Havoc: Oy! Men! Instead of staring at the lassie's boobies, help me with all this booty![Carts carrying pallets of jewels are shown behind him.]
Exceed Crew: Ay Ay, Captain![The men rushed over to load the billion in jewels.]
Polly: Quickly lassie! While the others are distracted! I'll take you to me nest![Grabs Magma, starts flying towards her nest.]
MGS: Ummm...Auntie Mary!?! Are my boobs supposed to bounce so much?[Sees other harbormen gawking at her.] AAAH! Why are they staring at me like that!?!
Harbormen:[Gawking at Magma.] AAAAAH!!![They scattered as Polly was throwing her cutlasses like throwing knives at them.]
Sting Eucliffe:[Wolf whistle]
Rogue Cheney:[Blushing] Wow!
*Bam!* Pow!*
Victoria Marvell:[Dragging the two unconscious twelve year-olds] You two perverts!!! We're going back to the inn, NOW!!![Heads back into town.]
Lector:[Holding Froshe for guidance] Hey! Wait up!
Froshe: I'm coming too!
[The five of them head back to town.]
Polly:[After putting Magma down in her lookout nest] Here we are![Rummages through her stuff. Pulls out a choir blouse.] Here ye go lassie![Hands blouse to Magma, who then puts it on.] It's a good thing I held on to this blouse...
[Back at Fairy Tail.]
Master Makarov Dreyar: The ancient Unpula Spell has been cast...You kids aren't feeling like yourselves today, huh!
ES: Master, your back!
ND: Gramps!
MMD: I had noticed that request on the board...by reading what was written on that page aloud, you've casted a spell of personality transference, and that spell, is called "Changeling"
LH:[Scared] That sounds scary...
Griff: Yet...you did nothing about it...[ Sarcastic. Under his breath] Such a GREAT master we have...
GF:[To Natsu as Loke] So your really Natsu, right!?!
ND: Uhhh...Yeah?
GF&CG:[Grabbing Natsu] YOU IDIOT! What did you do to us!?!
ND: ME!?! All I did was try to read the stupid job request![Still unaware of the tinted glasses.] Would somebody please turn on the lights!
MMD: That's enough Lucy and Chico!...Uh, Gray and Clay...For wizards, this spell does more than switch your bodies...It switches magic as well!
Gang: WHAT!?!
[Somewhere in Magnolia.]
Loke:[Out of breath] Oh, man! It kinda feels like somebody just poured lava down my throat...Huh![Notices two beautiful, young ladies.] Hey, is it hot out here, or is it just you?
[The young ladies runaway as Loke subconsciously breathes fire.]
Huh!?![Notices he's breathing fire. Freaks out.] What's happening to me!
[Back at Fairy Tail.]
MMD: There's one thing you should know...
Gang: *Gulp!*
MMD: If the Changeling Spell is not undone within thirty minutes from the time it was initially cast, you will never return to the way you were before...or so says the legend at least...
Gang: 😧
ND:[To Mirajane] Do you know how many minutes we've been mixed up for!?!
MS: Sixteen...So you have fourteen left...
ND: Gramps! Isn't there a way to lift the spell and change us back!?!
MMD: Hmmm...Since this is such ancient magic, it would only stand to reason that I... don't know...
Gang: AAAH!
MMD: I must say, I'm disappointed, I was so looking forward to punishing you, but it looks like you've got your hands full...best of luck to you kids!
Gang:[Dumbfounded]
GF:[About to strip out of Lucy's top] Alright, that does it! I can't take this anymore!!!
[The men of Fairy Tail are ready for this display.]
LH:[Stopping Gray] Get a hold of yourself!
GF: Let go!!!
CG: Geez...Save it for your bedroom you two...there's a kid here!
GF&LH: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!!
Griff: It's quite obvious that you two are in an "active" relationship...
GF&LH: NO WE'RE NOT!!! WE AREN'T EVEN A COUPLE!
CG: I may not have my Seismic Sense...but even I could see through that lie...
GF&LH: WE'RE NOT LYING!!! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WE'RE A COUPLE IN THE FIRST PLACE!?!
CG&Griff: He strips...she has a whip...It's not that hard to piece together...
ES: Hmmm...Never thought of it like that before...now I can't stop thinking about it!
MMD: Well now that it's out in the open, I can't think of it as anything else...
CA: Well Gray...Never thought I'd see you in such a "physical relationship"...besides Natsu of course!
CH: I can totally picture it...
[Meanwhile, somewhere in Fiore.]
*Shatter!*
Sol: Juvia mon ami! Is everything alright!?!
Juvia Lockser:[With a crushed tea cup in her clenched fist] I have no idea Sol...It's like there's a disturbance in my heart...Like the love of my life is being taken from me...by a blonde witch!
Totomaru: You had that dream again, didn't you?
Juvia Lockser: Yes...I don't know what's wrong with me...
Aria: Don't worry my dear friend! When we return to HQ, I'll personally ask Master Porla to give you some time off to yourself! All you need is a little break, then you'll be all better!
Juvia Lockser: Maybe your right...we have been on the road for a bit longer than usual...Thank you Aria! I'm glad to have friends like you all!
Totomaru: Sure thing...just try not to break anymore tea cups, okay?
Juvia Lockser: Okay...I will.
[Back at Fairy Tail.]
Hap: So...Even though Gray's in Lucy's body, he still likes to take off his clothes! So that means...
ES: That means, what!?...NO HAPPY!
Hap: This'll be awesome! Here I go!!!
ES: Happy![Happy starts a Requip spell] Stop this at once!
Hap: Requip! Check me out you guys! Yaaaaay!...Fun!
[Now wearing a swimsuit uniform with her hair in pigtails.] Tada!
ElfS,WM&MC: WOW! ERZA LOOKS SMOKING HOT!
GC:[Reforges Heaven's Wheel Armor, but it's made for a male figure. Holding blades to them with telekinesis] IF YE ALL KEEP STARING, IT BE THE LAST THING YE ALL EVER SEE!!!
ES: HOW DARE YOU!!!*Clank!*[Falls to the floor.] No...This can't be...I was an S-Class wizard and now I'm so weak...
Hap: Man...I was trying to change into one of those cool suits of armor she has...Hey, Grant! How come you can use her magic so well as Magma, but I can hardly use it as Erza herself!?!
GC: Don't ya remember anything, tomcat! When miss Scarlet, miss Hammitt, me sister and I did that blood oath to proclaim me as both of their son, we did more than shed blood on one another. They also gave me access to their being, so me, Maggie and Chico would be full-fledged siblings! On top of now having their magic and memories...though I don't seem to be as proficient with it as me sis...speaking of sis, I wonder what's going on over yonder?
[Back at Hargeon Harbor.]
CapH: So...let me get this straight...The pink-haired buffoon read an incantation, which caused a spell called "Changeling" to affect several of ye guild's wizards, including you and Charlie!?!
LJ: And ye all have less than fifteen minutes to return to ye own bodies...
DH: Yes...That's correct...but we're so far, and have so little time...I'm afraid I'll be too late...
JH: Well...their might be a way...
CapH: Jonesy! It won't work! It hasn't worked in over a score!
DH: What!?! What wouldn't work!?!
LJ: Well...This vessel is called The Flying Exceed for more than it's name...Years and years ago, it was capable of actual flight...and it could fly faster than any seacraft could sail...even putting birds in it's dust!
Polly: But it hasn't worked since well before I was hatched!
JH: But she be a Grimm! Maybe there be something she can do to fix it!
DH:[Sensing nothing out of the ordinary with the ship] I don't sense anything wrong with the ship...
Polly: That can't be![She flies over to the ship's wheel, hovering right above it.] There's gotta be something around here to get this thing airborne...*Click!* Aaah![Polly landed on her butt against the wheel, which was now level with the ship like a pedestal, after attempting to perch on the wheel.] Oy, mates...I feel all...tingly!
[Before she said those words, the ship was shaking notably.]
DH: Maybe it needs someone who knows Aera Magic...like an exceed! Aunt Polly! Try flying now!
Polly: Ay![Struggling to summon her wings.] I...feel...something...but me wings aren't coming...HUH![Polly was oblivious to the fact that her efforts caused the ship to float high above the harbor, taller than any building that was in Hargeon.]Haha! Check it out mates! I'm flying a ship! I'M FLYING A SHIP!!!
CapH: Good on you Mary! Jonesy! Set a course for Magnolia!
JH: Ay, Captain!
CapH: Johnny! Have the crew batten down the hatches!
LJ: Ay, Captain! All right men! Ye all heard the captain! BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES! ON THE TRIPLE!!!
Exceed Crew: Ay!!!
CapH: Dede!
DH: I know...[Pulls out Grant's fiddle.]Time for a shanty!
[Back at Fairy Tail.]
ND:[Realising] I see! We switched our magic with each other, but other than the triplets, we all stink at it!
CG: Speak for yourselves...Chico and I have overlapping Magics...We'll be fine...Can't say the same for the rest of you...
WM: Hey Loke...or whoever's inside him...
ND: Geez, it's me, Natsu! Okay!!!
WM: Have you figured out what kind of magic he uses?
[Natsu looks dumbfounded.]
ElfS: Yeah, come on! Be a man, kid! Show us!
ND:(I don't know...I don't feel anything happening magic wise...everything just kind of seems...fuzzy...)Errgh! I don't think i can take this pressure anymore!
Loke:[Running back in, drooling flaming saliva] Hey you guys, you gotta help me!
MC: What's with that fire?
ElfS: It's like he's drooling...
MS: Well that's certainly not threatening…
CG:[Charging at Loke] *Yeagh!*
*BAM!*
[Clayton pinned Loke to the floor and beat him relentlessly]
Loke:[In pain] OW!...What did I do!?!
CG: Nothing, Loke...You didn't do a thing...But you're in the body of the idiot that did...And any injuries I inflict on you, Natsu will have to deal with once we're in our true bodies!...Now stand still so I can break some ribs!
Loke:[Disoriented] Okay...Sounds fair…
GF: That actually makes a lot of sense...Let me get in on some of that action!
[After Gray joined Clayton in beating up Natsu's body harboring Loke, the harbored man began fantasizing]
Loke: WOW!...Two cute blondes on top of me...This is a dream come true…
2X *POW!*
ND: Hey! If you two are gonna beat up my body, than I'm gonna beat up yours!
*BAM!*
LH:[In pain] Ow!...NATSU!...You…
*THWACK!* IDIOT!
[Lucy punches Natsu into Chico, causing her to stumble into Mickey with a kiss 💋]
Mickey Chickentiger:[Speechless]
CG: Damn it! My curse works even if I'm not in my body!
Loke: Curse?...What curse?...
CG: Ever since I joined Fairy Tail, I've been getting kissed by girls left and right!...At first I thought it was just because the ladies of Fairy Tail find me attractive...But now it's working on any female I now come across!...
MMD: That's absurd!
Caprie Underwood: Not really...He kissed me and all of the female celestial spirits when they were present…
Loke:[Pissed] Lucky little…
WM: That's still hard to believe…
CG: Oh, yeah!?!...Let's go down the list shall we...Cana, Mirajane, Erza, Bisca, Chico, Ultear, Sherry, Lulu, Virgo, Lyra, Aquarius, Ophiuchus, Caprie, and now you Mickey!...I have the lips of a gigolo...
Loke: That...Sounds like a blessing...Your dad would be proud…
CG: Huh!?!
Loke:[Backpedaling] Ignore me...I'm delirious right now…
CG: Sorry dude...But you're gonna be a hell of a lot more delirious when me and Gray are done with you!
GF: You can say that again…
[They again beat up Natsu's body harboring Loke]
Loke:(This is kind of turning me on…)
Warren Rocko: Creep…
ND:[Mad] I'll show you![He punches Chico across Clay's rigid face with a right cross, only to be stopped by Chico before he could land another attack]
CH: Natsu! Stop!
ND: Why should I?! They're beating up my body, I have a right to beat up on their bodies!
CH: Maybe...But look at your right arm!
ND: My right arm!?! What about my right--[Upon examination, it was quite obvious that the blow broke Loke's arm so badly that bone was visible]
Fairy Tail:[Shocked] HOLY CRAP!
Loke: MY ARM!...MY ARM...IT'S RUINED…
RC:[Faints]
MC:[Holding Romeo] Romeo?!...Son!?...
Loke:[Pissed] YOU SON OF A…[To Clay and Gray] You two! Crank up the asswhooping!
CG&GF:[Cracking knuckles] With pleasure…
[The two men in women's bodies resumed their beating of Natsu's body. As a result, Loke became more aroused]
Loke:(Two beautiful blonde girls...Right on top of me…)
ElfS: What a perv…
CG&GF:[Jumping back towards their true bodies in disgust of Loke] EEEEEWWW!!! YOU'RE SICK MAN!
CH&LH: What!?! What happened!?!
WR&ElfS: He has an erection!
Fairy Tail:[Disgusted] EEEEEWWW!!!
LH:[Mad] I knew you were a bit of a weirdo, but to get turned on with my body beating you up!?!...You're despicable!...
CH:[Mad] And you never flirted with me before! What's different about me now!?!
Loke: Uhm...Your face…
CH:[Royally pissed] Is that so!...
*CRACK!*
*SNAP!*
ND:[In excruciating pain] AAAAAAAHHH!!!...My arm...You snapped the bone in two…
Fairy Tail: CLAYTON!!!
CG:[Clarifying] I'M Clayton! She's Chico!
Fairy Tail: CHICO!!!
MMD: Chico!!!
Loke: CHICO!!! WHAT THE HELL!?!
CH:[Getting gradually angrier] So now I'm hot?!...You're nothing but a womanizing piece of crap![Angrier. To Natsu] And you!...We wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for you reading out this dumb Changing Spell![Angrier. To Master Makarov] And you!...Griffin's right! Why the hell did you leave it up there for!?! To have this shit happen!?!
ES:[Defensive] Watch your tone Chico!...Master Makarov must of had good reason to leave it up there…
CH:[Angrier. Snapping back] Quit being such a kissass, Erza! Did you forget how he made you, Natsu, Gray and Lucy de facto cannibals!?![Sarcastically] Oh, no! That's right!...You “Forgave” him...Seriously! You're such a hardass with everyone else, but when it comes to Master Makarov, you bend right the fuck over and let him off!...You think he'll choose you to be the guild's next Master that way!?! GROW A PAIR, DAMN IT! Just because he's our Master, doesn't make him immune of all criticism!
MS: That's enough Chico!...Erza's right...The Master does care for us all…
CH:[Getting angrier] Oh, REALLY!?! Just like how he cared SO MUCH about Macao, that he basically told us all to let him fend off for himself! If it wasn't for Clayton, Natsu, Lucy, Griffin and Happy, he'd be dead in a frozen wasteland!...Or worse! He'd become a mindless, perverted Vulcan!...[Angrier. To the entire guild in a somber tone] And all of you...You were all fine with helping train me…[Angrier and angrily] But when it came to having me join up on a job, you always leave me behind! For years and years I've been wasting away my life in Magnolia...While you all enjoyed travelling everywhere, I was stuck here!...But you know...It's to be expected...This place is supposed to be a family for me...And that's exactly how family treats me!...None of you bothered to help me overcome the restrictions of my Magic…[Even angrier. To Master Makarov again] And YOU! YOU TAUGHT ME THIS STUPID LEGEND OF CITY MAGIC! ALL FOR THAT REASON!...[Even angrier] And the only one who actually gave enough of a shit to help me is him![Points to Clayton and Clayton's body]
CG: CHICO! CALM DOWN!
CH:[Glowing Clayton's body an eerie red and green] WHY!?!
CG: BECAUSE IF YOU GET TOO ANGRY IN MY BODY, YOU'LL NUKE HALF OF FIORE!!!
CH:[Shocked] WHAT!?!...[Dialing it way down] What!?!
CG:[Explaining] I have radioactive adrenaline!...The Earth Dragon Slayers before me used it to destroy entire nations!...So…
*DONG!*
TAKE A CHILL PILL!
CH:[In excruciating pain] OW!...What the hell's with all this pain!?!
CG: Oh...That's right...You've never had testes before...Doesn't feel so good, does it!?...[To Gray] Hey, Gray?!...Mind if I let Lucy experience it?!
GF: What the hell for?!...
CG: Because...Once she's experienced it, she'll think twice before doing it to you, or any other man…
LH: No way! Gray wouldn't just let you kick me in the nads!
GF: You're right…
LH: You see! He's a creep, but not a--
*DONG!*
[Gray kicked his body in the nads. A small sacrifice to have the young girl experience the hardships of testicular abuse]
[Ine excruciating pain] JERK…[Lucy collapses over the floor. Guarding the gonads that are now apart of her]
GF:[Continuing] That's why I should do it…
CG: You've done mankind a good service, Fullbuster…You're self-inflicting pain won't be for nothing...
GF: As will yours, Grimm…
CH:[Pissed] Oh yeah!?! Well…[Pulling out Clay's wallet] You want me to show everyone all you photos in your wallet!?! If not, apologize!
CG: Blackmail, Hammitt!?...Really?!...Well…[He runs into the girl's bathroom, only to return topless, using the orange cat hat as a makeshift bra] How about THIS!?!
Fairy Tail: WOAH!!!
Men: So HOT!
CH: *Gasp!* Why you...Come here!
[Chico lunges at her body, only for Clay to backflip onto the wooden railing on the second floor]
What the---
CG:[Walking on the rail like a balance beam. Pondering] Hmmm...Let me guess…Vijeeter taught you acrobatics and honed your flexibility…
Vijeeter Ecor: That's exactly right!
CG: So...You're a well-rounded wizard and warrior…[Looking at Chico's curves] Among other round things…[Posing sexy-like] Am I right boys!?!
Men: DAMN RIGHT!
CH:[Pissed] Do you WANT me to show these pictures?!
CG:[Retorted] Do you WANT me to take this hat off?!
CH:[Shocked]
Men: YES PLEASE!
CG: If you even think about that, I'll show everyone your privates![Hands at the pant waistline] What do you think about THAT!?!
CG: I couldn't care less…
CH:[Shocked] HUH!?!
Fairy Tail:[Shocked] WHAT!?!
CG: I'm very comfortable with my my body...Besides...What's there to hide?...Literally every girl in Fairy Tail has already seen it…Scratch that...Every girl except Caprie…
Men: What!?!
Women: It's true…
CH:(Damn it...It IS true…)
CU: Is it big?
Women: Very…
CG: Matter of fact, almost half of you ladies already touched it…
Women that didn't: HUH?!
Women that did:[Nervous silence]
Loke: You...You monster!...This guild is our family! Not your harem!
Men:[Agreeing]
ES: That's enough you two!...Have our past accomplishments meant nothing to you both!?! The three of us are a team! We're the Copper Mountain Crowns for crying out loud!...We've worked so well together...Please…
[The two wizards look at one another. Nodding, they agree to apologize]
CG: Look...I'm sorry for kicking you in the jewels earlier...It's just...It's basically one of my only physical soft spots...And...It really hurts…
CH: And I'm sorry too...Now I know how painful it is...I won't be so rough on you…
[They shake hands in good faith]
ES:[Grateful] Thank you both…It warms my spirit to see you both get along…[Her emotions activate Happy's Aera Magic] Woah!...Look!...I'm flying!...And without armor![Enjoying Happy's Aera Magic] *Sigh!* I must admit! Flying is way more fun than I thought it'd be...
ElfS:[Also enjoying Griffin's Aera Magic] Me too! It's like swimming...but in the air!
ES&ElfS:[Snapping out of their daze] I shouldn't be wasting my precious time like this! I need to be changed back at once!
LH: *Sigh* What are we gonna do?[Drools ice like an Ice machine.]
MS: Hey Gray...or...Lucy! Your dropping ice, huh…?
LH:[Covering Gray's mouth] I hate this...Why me!
Levy McGarden: No need to worry, Lucy!
[Team Shadow Gear is at the guild doors.]
LH: Levy, it's you!
ND: L-levy!
Droy: The Shadow Gear team is here to save the day! You guys will be back to normal in no time!
Jet: Oh yeah! We got this, no sweat!
Jet&Droy: Now! Do your thing Levy!
MS: When you boys say "we" you really mean her, right?
Jet&Droy:[Embarrassed chuckle]
LH: You're so sweet to help us!
CH: Hallelujah!
LMG: Anything for my girl! Besides...[Whispering] I wanna read your novel...and it'd be kinda weird to talk about it with Gray...
Griff:[Overhearing their conversation. Whispering] A novel she says...
CG:[Whispering] Hmmm...A Celestial wizard, and a writer...interesting...
ND: What are you gonna do!?!
LMG: Well I do know a thing or two about ancient texts...I'll start by taking a look at what was written on the flyer itself!
CG: Wait a minute! My goggles! Why didn't I think of this before!
Griff: Of course! Chico! Those goggles around Clay's neck! Give them to Levy! Quickly!
CH: Okay…[She tosses the goggles to Levy]
CG: Levy! Use those instead! These are capable of 64x gale-force reading!
LMG: Woah! 64x!?! With these I should be done in no time!
ES: So, on top of functioning as binoculars and judgement vision, they also can be used as Gale-Force reading glasses? Just what else can they do?
CG: Pretty much anything you'd need! Magic Radar, Infrared, Night-vision, and Vitality Analysers.
LMG: Wow! These must've costed a fortune!
CG: Not really...My Valkyrie caretaker Adrianna made them for me. She's the best crafter in all the world! Because she was taught my ancestors...She's kind of like my aunt...Except she's a giant woman!
ES:[Tastes a bite out of a slice of strawberry cake.] *Bleck!* Why does this taste so damn bitter!?!...Must be due to Happy's fishy taste in food...
Hap: What are you talking about!?! It's always tasted like that!
[Griffin should up after having an epiphany]
Griff: That's right!...Happy, my boy! Since we're both in human bodies, we can finally taste sweetness!
Hap: Really!?!
Griff:[Takes him by the hand] Yes, my boy! Let's go! We have a whole new taste to explore!
Hap: Aye, sir!
[They skip out of the guild hall, hand-in-hand] See ya![They proceeded out of the guild.]
MS: Well...I guess they're gone…
RJ:[To Clayton] I've heard rumors of the Valkyries beauty. Are they really true?
CG: Fellas...Imagine the hottest girl you know...then double their hotness...then scale her up to be a giant...Every. Single. Part of her...that's how hot the Valkyries look...because of that, I can't even look at the most drop-dead gorgeous women in the world and feel attracted...even if they're o natural, form...
Fairy Tail Men:[Imagining the Valkyries, rubbernecking over their mental images.]
WM: You gotta take us some time to meet them Clay!
CG: You probably shouldn't do that...The Valkyries have zero tolerance for perverts...[Shivering] The things they did to me...the things they made me do...Because of them...they broke every perverted desires I had as a teenager...practically castrated my mind...I can't even look at a ladies assets without thinking back to being crushed by the Valkyries gigantic asserts...[Holding Loke for comfort.]
Loke: MAN! You poor thing...[Hugging Clay in Chico's body.](Sweeeeet!)
CG:[Hugging back] Thank you…
LH: Wait!?! Are we all just gonna believe him!?! Need I remind you, he can see everything from kilometers away! He's probably lying through his teeth!
LMG: He wasn't Lu! These goggles are saying he was completely honest...poor guy...
LH: Really!?! That's sort of a relief...I feel sorry for him though...
Griff:[Returning with Happy with wagons full of sugary food.] Yes...If the Valkyries don't cure the perverts they come across...They enslave them, in indentured servitude!
Fairy Tail Men: STILL WOULD BE WORTH IT!
CG: That's where you're wrong you guys...
Griff: Yes…[To Happy] Now child...Let's eat!
Hap: Aye sir!
[They take an entire table to themselves, gorging on the sweets.]
Griff:[With Elfman's mouth full] Mmmmm...So good! Eat your heart out Panther Lily! Your not the only exceed to taste sweetness![Continues eating.]
P.s: Yes. Griffin knows Panther Lily. Will elaborate in the Edolas Arc. As far as I know, he's the only exceed capable of tasting sweetness.
Hap:[With Erza's mouth full] By the way...I think everyone in town thinks you two are a couple now...[Continues eating.]
ES&ElfS: YOU IDIOTS!
LMG: Wait! I can't be distracted! I've gotta flyer to decipher![Uses the goggles to decipher the flyer.] Okay...Uugo deru...
Loke: Please hurry! There's only twelve minutes left!
GF: Hey...you sure it's safe to read the words out loud like that?
LMG: Don't worry, it's totally safe as long as you don't read everything in the correct order...now...
ND:[With Doc Dex finished mending his broken arm] THERE'S NOT MUCH TIME! *Ugh!* I can't take it! I feel...so weird! Change me back!
Hap:[Finishing up his feast] Awww! I don't think it's so bad...I got to enjoy some delicious sweets! Now...One more time! Re-
ES:[Interrupting] I SWEAR YOU'LL LOSE A LIFE, CAT!
[Levy closes her book.]
LH: So how's it going Levy!
ND: Have you figured it out!?!
LMG:...No, I'm stumped!
Gang:[Disappointed] Aaaaahhh...
ES: Oh no...I never thought my fate would be to live out my days as some strange, flying cat...
Hap:[With a whole mackerel in Erza's mouth] What's so terrible about that, huh!?!
Griff:[Also with a mackerel in Elfman's mouth] Nothing is wrong with that...She's just sulking...
ElfS: Seriously! Would it kill you to scale the fish before eating it!
GF:[Grabs Lucy's blue top, ready to strip it off]
MC,WM&ElfS: 😮😮😮
LH: I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!!!
ND: *Ugh* I feel so funky...
Loke:[Drooling fire] The girls are never gonna talk to me now...
RC:[Having woken up] I wanna switch with someone!
CA:[As she drinks an entire barrel of beer] Not with me kiddo, I'd die if I was underage...
LMG:[To her worried guildmates] Look I know you guys are freaking out, but I'm still working on it, okay!?!
ND: How much time do we have?
MC: About ten minutes...I hate to say it, but you might wanna prepare for the worst...
[The gang looks depressed]
LH: Oh no...
[Meanwhile, Shadow Gear's other two members were cheering their leader on.]
Jet&Droy: GO! GO! GO LEVY!
WM: Those guys are just her personal cheerleaders!?!
LMG:[Analysing] So "deru" is...Oh, I see! That must mean...
CG: You know what! Screw it! If I'm in someone else's body, I might as well see how it is to get drunk! Mirajane! Hit me with two dozen beer barrels! Cana! Wanna have a rematch? Winner gets a hundred billion jewels!
CA: I'm game...
MMD: Mirajane! Make it three dozens! I want in on this drinking game!
CG: I don't even care if I win or not...I just at least wanna get buzzed!
CH: You can't be serious!?! I don't want you to make my liver all fatty!
[Two minutes have passed.]
GF: So what happens if we end up getting stuck like this?
ND: Huh? What do ya mean by that?
LH: Are we just gonna adjust to our new bodies and go back to work?
ND: Well yeah, I guess we'll have to, it's not like we have a whole lot of options...
Hap: Whatever happens is totally fine with me! If I stay quiet, everyone will be nice to me, because I'm scary now!
ES:[Annoyed] What?
LH: Well no one asked for your opinion, did they! STUPID CAT! I just wanna be a cute girl again...[Lucy and Loke simultaneously drooled their new elements together.]
ND: Are those frozen chunks of drool!?! That's so gross man!
LH:[Upset] I'm not a man! And I know it's gross! You think I'm doing this on purpose!!![Shocked look]
ES: What is it Gray?...Uh, I mean Lucy...
LH: I just realized something...If we get stuck like this forever, none of us have a clue how to use our magic anymore...If we did take a job, we'd never be able to finish it!
ND: Aw geez, your right!
GF: We stink...
ES: And that means...
Gang: We're the weakest team in Fairy Tail now!
[Moaning in helplessness.]
CH:[To Clayton] You sure we don't have to worry about our Magic's?
CG: Not at all...There's probably no spell that you couldn't do that I don't already know!…
ND: Uhhh! What's the point of living if I can't burn stuff!
ES: I am an S-Class wizard and I refuse to be part of the weakest team in the guild! If only I wasn't trapped in this form...
Hap: You're mean! I don't know what you're complaining about, I loved being a cat![Jumps in attempt of flying away.]
*Tink!* [Erza moans in pain as her formerly armored body crushes her frail new exceed body.]
MC: Just what were you trying to do there Erza?...Uh, I mean, Happy?
Hap: Ever since we've switched, she's been saying mean stuff! So I got mad and tried to fly away...but I couldn't fly away...'cause I don't have my wings anymore!
ES:[In pain] I-I'm sorry I was mean! I promise I'll be...😵
LMG: Yes! That's it!
Gang: Huh!?!
ND: Really!?! So you can lift the spell!?!
GF: Come on! DO IT!
LMG: This is what it says…”May this eternal exchange provide you with eternal happiness!”...kinda cute isn't it?
LH: Awe, yeah it is...
Loke: May this eternal exchange provide you with eternal happiness...huh...
ND: Yeah, and!?!
LMG: In other words, everyone who's been switched by the spell will live happily ever after! So lucky! I'm so glad I figured it out!
ND: OH, NO WAY! ARE YOU TELLING ME WE'RE STUCK LIKE THIS FOREVER!?!
CG: Levy...I could have told us all what it said...
GF: We wanted you to lift the spell, not read it...remember?
LMG: *Gasp!* Oh that's right...Sorry...
LH:[Reassuring Levy] You've got this. I have faith that you can do it, but you've gotta work a little faster, 'Kay! Maybe there's some kind of code, or hidden message in the words, you know, something like that!
LMG: Yeah, good idea!
Jet&Droy:[Cheering] GO! GO! GO LEVY!
WM: Isn't all that racket gonna distract her?
ElfS&GC: Na...They're just trying to get her pumped up, and they need all the help they can get!
WM: Huh!?!
Jet&Droy:[Cheering] GO! GO! GO LEVY! Yeah! Wooow!
LMG: Uh...I'm still not seeing a pattern here...It doesn't seem to make any sense! *Groans*
MC: Five minutes left...
LH: FIVE MINUTES! Uhhh...
ES: Well this is it! For the rest of my life, fish for breakfast, lunch and dinner...I've...worked so hard...And now I'm going to spend my days chasing mice and little pieces of string![Flies into a corner
Loke: No, Wait! Come back here Happy...I-I mean Erza!
Hap:[Apologizing] Sorry I got upset! I know this is hard on both of us...
ES:[Turns to Happy] Really? You do?
Hap: Now's not the time for us to be arguing like this! Will you please forgive me?
ES: Yes of course! I hope you'll forgive me too!
Hap:[Presenting a very large fish] Aye! Here's a little something to make you feel better!
ES: A fish! I-[Snaps out of her daze.] Don't want it![Flies away again.]
LH: Can you be anymore clueless?
ND: Have you figured it out yet?
MC: The situation is dire, with just five minutes to go!
ND:[Mad] I don't recall asking you for the time, so shut your trap, 'Kay!?!
MC: Geez...I was just trying to help…
Ruchio Hammitt: Chico Casca Hammitt!
CG: Ooo…Middle named...Never good…
CH: Uhh...I can-
*POW!*
[Ruchio punched Clay's face]
CH: Daddy! Why did you punch me!?!
RH: I'm not your father you delinquent!
CG: Hey! I'm not a delinquent! I'm a liberator!
[Ruchio looked at Chico's new face. Reminded of his dearly departed wife]
RH:[Touching Chico's face] Your face...It looks so much like your mother's…
CG:[Swatting his hands away] No...No it doesn't...Not my mother anyways…
Hammitt Twins:[Confused] HUH!?!
RH: What do you mean?!...Have you forgotten her face!?
CH: No...I'll never forget her face…
RH: You've never even met her you rapscallion!
MMD: Ruchio...They've switched minds and bodies...You're daughter is in the boy's body...And vice versa…
Hammitt Twins: Coooool!...
RH: WHAT!?! Then switch them back!
MMD: We're...Working on that...
LMG: Okay...I think I've almost got this last part figured out…
[Levy is being cheered on by Jet and Droy, as well as Elfman and Grant.]
GC: Don't worry guys...this Fast-Tempo Magic song should speed up all our perception of time...giving us all faster processing![He strums a fast-tempo tune from the Magic Guitar he made.]
MGS:[Also playing the same song on a Magic Ukulele] I'll also help the same way...
ElfS: Work it Levy! Yeah! Your on FIRE! Wooow!
WM: He's too good at that...
MMD:[Borderline drunk] Still trying to break the spell, are you?
GF: Look! If your trying to teach us a lesson here...We've learned it already, okay!
MMD: Oh!
ES: Yes Master?
MMD: Nope! Nevermind kids, I'm drawing a blank!
GF:[Threatening to strip] Aaaaah! We're not gonna make it!
LH;[Restraining her old body] Taking off my shirt isn't gonna change anything Gray!
GF: LET GO OF ME!
MC: You guys have two minutes left…
Grimm Twins:[Entering] Two minutes for what?!
MMD: I just remembered something about the spell!
ES: What is it?
MMD: While it can be lifted, I'm afraid it must be done one pair at a time...meaning it's impossible to change you all back at once!
[While they argue about who should be switched first, Levy solved the flyer.]
LMG: I got it!
MC: 61,60...
LH: Alright! I'll try and explain this really fast!
MC: 57, 56...
DH:[Arriving with the rest of the Flying Exceed Crew] We made it!
ND: No time! Just change us back! Hurry!
LMG: Okay here it goes...[Repeats 5x] Aruboroya tesura rugi oguu!