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Yesterday by Bassoonist
You pick up a slug from your front garden. Its one of those huge black ones that could break an ankle if you tripped over it. You throw it at the guy and it lands with a satisfactory "schlurp" on his cheek.

"I thought you would be pleased that I whistled," he cries. "I only wanted to let you know that you look good in that blue dress and feather boa."
Pick up a snail and let him have it
End Of Story

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