Clay(ton] Grimm: Alright everyone! TERRA's all set!
Natsu Dragneel: Alright! Come on Happy! Let's go!
Happy: Aye!
Lucy Heartfilia: Already!?!
Clairissa Suede: Let's just get this over with…
[The wizards go outside to see TERRA in her default form.]
ND:[Confused] Huh!?!...Where's TERRA!?!
TERRA: I am right here Mr. Salamander!
Hap: Why does she look like a motorcycle with a silly little sidecar!?!
Griffin: What you say about her sidecar!?! I love that sidecar!
Hap: Aaah! I'm sorry!
CG: Well...Me and TERRA have been talking it over and we thought the best way to play the part, is for her to turn into her advanced limousine form...But I'm sure you guys want to see her transform!
ND,LH&Hap: Yeah!
CG: Alright! You heard them TERRA! Advanced limousine form!
TERRA: As you command creator![With a glow of bright light, she transformed into her advanced/modern limousine form.]
ND,LH&Hap: WOAH!!!
CG: While your at it TERRA...Enable autopilot!...I don't wanna be seen as a chauffeur…
TERRA: As you wish![TERRA emitted a cloud of Ethernanobots, or Magic Nanobots, the cloud then solidified into a young woman-like form, with desert-camo blond hair, dark skin, glowing neon-blue eyes, and circuit-like marks on her cheeks, a sexy voluptuous figure, wearing a chauffeur’s getup.] I am ready to commence our drive to Shirotsume!
[TERRA=Vehicle form. Terra=Humanoid form.]
ND,LH&Hap: WOAH!!! SHE'S A PERSON!?!
Terra: Incorrect! This is my autopilot form! I can use this form with any of my other vehicle forms! I myself am an Artificial Intelligence entity!
CG: Yep![Joke] She's our L3-37 to our Millennium Falcon!
Griff: *Shush!* We may have money, but even we can't afford to be sued by “You know who”...
ND:[Touching Terra's exposed skin on her arms] WOAH!!! She's SO lifelike! It's like I'm touching a real girl's skin!
Terra:[Blushing] Thank you![She likes being called a real person, because she wants to be a real person.] If you think that is impressive,[Terra grabs Natsu's hand, placing his palm on her left breast. Obvious to the awkwardness.] feel these! Tell me how my silicone-based mammaries feel!
*Wow!*
ND:[Blushing. Shocked] Aaah!!!
Everyone:[Shocked] AAAAAAAHHH!!!
CG: TERRA!!! That's inappropriate!!! He's a wizard, not a oncologist!
Terra:[Innocently] Oh! Sorry![Terra let's go of Natsu's hand, who then quickly pulls it back to himself.]
ND:[Baffled] I...I just went to second base...with a car!
Hap: Oh, wow! You two are in Lo-o-o-ove!
Terra: Nonsense! I have a boyfriend!...Please, everyone![Opens her doors automatically.] Step inside me!
Everyone:[Disturbed]
CS: Terra...Remember what we said about phrasing!?!
Terra: OH! Yes...Please forgive me!
[As they are on the road heading to Shirotsume.]
LH:[Sarcastically to Natsu] Are you enjoying your limo ride today, master? Anything I can get you?
ND: Yeah! Could you open this things cooler and get me a drink?
Hap:[Jealous] I'm playing the part of the master, so I should be giving the orders!
LH&Griff: SHUT UP, YOU STUPID FELINE!!!
Griff: If you can't tell, I'm trying to enjoy my massage![He says as his seat massaged him.] *Ahhh*
CS:[Sinister grin] If you want Natsu…[Pours a glass of TERRA's biofuel.]...You can have some of TERRA's extra biofuel! It should make your flames more potent! I'll even make it taste like whatever you like!
CG&Griff:(She's joking, right!?!)
ND: Wow! Thanks Claire! You might actually fool that old man into thinking your an actual maid…Can you make it taste like HotShot©!?!{As far as I know, this doesn't exist.} I haven't had one of those in years!
LH: HotShot©!?! Isn't that the cinnamon-and-ginger-flavored soda!?!
CG: Didn't it get discontinued!?!
ND: Yeah!...Don't know why...I loved that stuff!
CS: Lucky you, we've had it before![Sprinkles in pollen-like powder from her fingers, giving it a red tint.] Here you go!
ND:[Grabs glass] Thanks![He takes a swig.] Mmmm...It tastes even better than I remember![He says with fire coming from his mouth.]
LH:[Shocked] He drank it!
CG,CS&Griff:[Snickering] He drank it…
[FYI: Earth Dragon Slayers can manipulate the molecular fluids in their excretory and renal systems, forming things from liquid fertilizer, to biofuel. Ergo, Natsu is drinking Clay and Claire's piss.]
Hap: Natsu! Your breath is on fire!
ND: Huh!?![Sees ignited fuel vapors leave his mouth.] Wow! It is! And I'm not even trying to breath fire!
Griff: It makes sense...Fire needs three factors to exist: Heat, Oxygen, and fuel...Since the atmosphere has ample oxygen...Natsu's magic only needs contributions to the other two factors...But by drinking that fuel, his magic only needs to bother with one factor, heat…As a matter of fact...Since Natsu's magic is merely igniting it, and not fueling it...He should be able to eat it to get more power from it…
ND: No wonder I feel so strong! I'm all fired up in this fuel fire!
LH: OH! Hey Natsu!?!
ND: Yeah!?! What's up!?!
LH: I was just wondering why you picked me to join your team?...
ND: ‘Cause...You seem like a nice person…
LH:[Speachless]Uh…(Woah! Did I actually get a compliment from this guy?)
ND: But you're just SO weird…
LH:[Offended] AH!(The fire-eater with a talking cat thinks I'M weird!?!)
Griff: Hey...We “Talking cats” have a proper species name…
LH: Forgot you could read our minds…
Hap: So Griffin? What are we called anyway?
Griff: Exceeds Happy...We're called “Exceeds”...
LH: Anyways, I'm totally stoked about my first real job! I know I'm gonna rock it!
Hap: Really!?! I thought you were upset about it?!
LH: Yeah...I was mad about it at first...But if this perv is into pretty girls, me and Claire are perfect for the job right!?!
Hap: All you humans kinda look alike to me!
LH&CS:[Shocked]
LH: I think it's time we worked out our pay scale...Since me and Claire are doing most of the work...We should split the reward 30, 30, 10, 10, 10, and 10!
Hap: You only want 10%!?!
LH&CS:[Pissed] WE BOTH GET 30!
CS: No offense Lucy, but do you really need the money!?! You should have gotten 750,000J when Clay beat Cana at that drinking contest…I'm honestly in it for the journey, and not the money this time…
LH: I'm not doing any job for free...
CG: Speaking of drinking...My 6th sense is finally back to normal!...Same here though...I'm sure Natsu needs the money more than us...BECAUSE he decided to bet against me!
ND: Hey! I'm sorry! I've learned my lesson! Hiw did you even beat Cana in the first place!?!
Hap: Yeah! Her alcohol tolerance is so high, she's practically immune to it!
CS: Here's a little secret...Earth Dragon Slayers can't get drunk! Our bodies break it down well before we can even get the chance to even get buzzed!
ND&Hap:[Shocked] WHAT!?! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US BEFORE WE BETTED!?!
CG: You already made your bets...And hurt my feelings...So I decided to hurt your wallet!
ND&Hap:[Whining] NO FAIR!!!
Transition: And then!
Narrator: The town, of Shirotsume.
ND: *Sighs* Never get sick when I ride in TERRA!
Terra: I'm glad my Equilibrium Lacrima makes your ride enjoyable!
ND: Man...I'm starving…
LH: Can't you just eat your own fire?!
ND:[Sarcastically] Oh, yeah...That's a great idea...Why don't you just eat Plue, or your cow while your at it?
LH:[Shocked] Why would I do something like that!?!
ND: That's kinda the same thing…
LH: So let me get this straight...You can eat fire, just as long as it's not your own!?! That's kinda lame…
CG: It's more or less the same thing with me and Claire...We can only benefit from eating our constructs after a while...When new ethernano embeds itself into them...But that takes time…
ND:[Pointing at a restaurant] Woah! Let's stop and get a bite!
CG: I could eat…
Griff: Same here…
Hap: Aye!
LH: Nah, I'm alright!
CS: Me too!
LH&CS: You boys enjoy![They walk off together.]
Terra: I should go into the market and get sustenance for later…[She leaves into the town.]
ND: What's with those three? We should be eating together as a team…
Hap: Oh well…
Griff: Their loss…
CG: Come on! Let's eat! My treat, cuz!
ND: Heck yeah! MAN...Family is the best!
Hap: Aye!
[After their feast arrives at their table.]
ND:[While eating] Be sure you save all the fat stuff for Lucy!
CG: Ummm...Guys...
Hap:[While eating] Yeah! From the looks of it, that's what she likes the most!
CG: She's right-
LH:[Offended] Hold it right there, cat! What the heck is that suppose to mean!?!
CG: Behind us…
ND:[Seeing Lucy and Claire in their new maids uniforms.] Hey!...Girls…
LH&CS: Come on! Don't be shy! We know we look so cute in these uniforms!
Guys:[Shocked to see Terra in her own maid’s uniform.] WOAH!!! TERRA!?! WHY ARE YOU WEARING A MAID’S UNIFORM TOO!?!
Terra: I figured our statistics of being let into Everlue’s Mansion would be further increased if I accompanied you girls…
CG: How ‘bout we keep that for a backup plan...Let's head to meet the client…
[They arrive at Kabby’s residency, and are later face-to-face with him.]
Kappy Melon:[Lying about his last name] My name's Kabby Melon...Pleased to meet you…
Hap:[Mouth watering] He said melon!
ND:[Mouth watering] Oh, MAN you have a tasty name!...
LH&CS: Quit being rude guys…
CG:[Annoyed] Seriously...We ate less than half an hour ago…
KM:[Chuckles] Don't worry, I get that a lot…
LH:(Why does his name sound familiar?...)
Griff:(Clay, Claire and I were wondering the same thing…)
CG&CS:(He's definitely hiding something about himself…)
KM: First things first…Allow me to tell you about the job...
Hap: Go on!
KM: It's pretty straightforward really...Duke Everlue has a book called “Daybreak” in his possession...I would like you to burn it for me…
ND: No prob! I'll burn the whole place down if you want…
Hap: He lights fires!
LH: I'm not going to jail because of arson because of the two of you!
CG,CS&Griff: Same here, Firefly…
LH: May we ask why sir!?!
ND: For 200,000J, who the heck cares!?!
KM:[Unnoticeable reluctant] The reward has been raised to two million…
Everyone:[Shocked] Two million!?!
KM: I'm sorry...I thought you were aware that the amount had changed…
Griff: Geez...Is it a book, or a monster that looks like a book…
ND: Two million split five-
Terra&Griff:[Interrupting] Three...We don't need the money either…
ND:[Continues] Three ways!?! I stink at math, but that's a lot!!!
CS: A lot to burn a book…
Hap: Wait I've got it! I get one million![To Natsu] You get one million! And Lucy gets all the rest!
ND: Hehe, that sure sounds fair to me!
Hap: Aye!
LH:[Angry] BUT THAT LEAVES ME WITH NOTHING!!!
Everyone: BUT THAT LEAVES HER WITH NOTHING!!!
LH: Why'd you raise the reward?
KM:[Uneasy] Well...Because it means that much to me...That book must be destroyed...No matter the cost…
CG: No offense...But we're wizards...Not the secret police...That's more suited for some lowly Dark or Independent wizards...And as someone who believes in the freedom of speech and press, and a graphic novelist myself, this goes against my personal beliefs...But I guess that's also why you raised the reward…
[Natsu's head is engulfed in flames.]
LH:[Worried] AAAHHH!!!
ND: ALRIGHT!!! I'm all fired up now!!! Let's do this team!!![He says dragging Lucy out side.]
Hap: Aye!
LH: Hey wait a sec!
Griff: He sure thinks like an Epimetheus…
(One who thinks afterwards;hindsight)
CG&CS:Yep…
Terra: Mr. Salamander! Wait for us! I'll take us there!
ND: OH!!!...I forgot...Hurry up then!
CS: Well be down there!...[To Kabby Melon]...Please excuse him...He's clearly not much for manners…
KM: Not at all...I admire his drive…
CG: Let's go...Before Natsu burns something for fun…
[The rest of them leave, still in the range to use the Nidhoggs' Seismic Senses.]
KM:[To himself] Daybreak...It must be burned...It cannot be allowed to exist any longer…
CG:[To the others] He's hiding something…
CS: For sure…
Terra: For now...Let's just get to Everlue's Mansion…
[On the way to Everlue's Mansion.]
Griff: So...I just thought of something Natsu…
ND: What is it Griff!?!
Griff: If we're all a team...Then what's our team name?
Hap: Isn't it obvious!?! Team Natsu!
ND: Hey! I like that name!
CG: One. That's a terribly narcissistic team name…And two. There's no way in hell I'm calling ourselves that…
ND: Oh yeah!?! Well what name should we call ourselves!?!
CG: How about “Dragon's Bane”? Over half of us are Dragon Slayers...Makes the most sense…
LH: Wait...Over half!?! You mean…
Terra: Correct! I'm a Dragon Slayer too!
ND,LH&Hap: Wow! Really!?!
Terra: That's right! Sir and Dame Grimm created me in a way so I too can use the same magics they can use…
ND: Then that's a perfect name! Team Dragon's Bane! What's “Bane” mean anyways…
Griff: In this format, it means that you four are banes, or Slayers, of dragons…
ND&Hap: Cool!
Narrator: Welcome, to Duke Everlue's Mansion…
LH: Excuse me! We heard you have some openings for some maids positions!?!
CS:[To Lucy] I can see his library...But some of the books are humming with magic...And it's too compact for me to make out the target…
LH: No matter.This geezer’ll sees our looks, We'll burn some stupid book, and collect two million jewels...This'll be sweet!
[Natsu and Happy hide behind a nearby tree, while Clay, Griffin and Terra stay in the Parked limousine.]
ND: Don't screw this up, okay!?!
Hap: Break a leg you two!
CG:[To Natsu and Happy] Why are you two idiots hiding like a couple of terrible Home Alone© criminals!?!
ND: At least we're trying to be stealthy...Not like you three!
Griff: Emphasis on “Trying”...
ND: What happens when he spots you three!?!
CG: Easy! I tell him that we are Claire's siblings, and we are running on hard times...So we came here looking to see if she could be employed by him! Duh!
Hap: And what about Griffin!?!
Griff:[Reluctantly] I'll act as their...Pet...Cat...
Terra: Wait!
Earth Dragon Slayers: Something's coming!
[Virgo comes popping out the ground behind Lucy and Claire.]
LH:[Shrieking as she lands]
Virgo: So you two are maids!?!
LH:[Frightened] Yeah!
CS:[Confident] Yes ma’am![Holding a list of actual references.] I actually have references!
ND:[Quietly] Hey! Did she get bogus references from somewhere?
CG:[Quietly] No...Our old guild specialized in espionage, as well as heavy-hitting work...Those references are legitimate!
Virgo:[Skimming through the list] Hmmm...These are excellent references...What about you blondie!?! Do you have any references!?!
LH:[Off guard] Well-I-uh…
CS:[Interjecting] I'm her reference! She's been under my tutelage for three year now!
Virgo: Good to know...I assume you two are here, ‘cause you've seen the ad the master has put in the papers!?!
[Duke Everlue comes crashing through the ground.]
Duke Everlue: Did I hear someone say “Master”?
LH:[To herself] More like “Monster!”
DE:[Looking at Lucy] Let's see here…
LH: Well I sure hope you like what you see!
DE:[Staring at Lucy]
LH:(Oh boy! He's creeping me out!...Stay strong Lucy!)
DE: I'll pass...Now scram, ugly!
LH:[Dumfound. His words impaling her self-esteem]
Virgo:[Holding Lucy] You heard the man! Get going ugly!
*Ugly!*
DE: Sorry..But a man of my standings has certain standard to uphold!
[The rest of his maids appear behind him.]
That's why I only hire the fairest of the fair!
LH&CS:[Shocked] HUH!?!
Maid 1:[Mumbling praises]
Maid 2: You're the best master!
Maid 3: I've never met such a kind-hearted man!
Maid 4: I think he's the sweetest guy alive!
Maid 5: Why don't you along home...Ugly!
*Ugly!*
[Lucy runs off sobbing.]
CS: Well...I guess you don't want me as a maid either...I'll see myself out then…
DE: Wait!...Hold on!...I'll admit...Your figure is more or less the same as her’s...But your eyes!...Absolutely beautiful!...
CS:[Internally offended, Externally grateful] Really!?!
DE: Absolutely!...You see...Bimbos like her are a dime a dozen...But whatever divine influence on the appearance of man occasionally blesses a lucky few that stand out from the crowd of…”Traditional beauty”...Your eyes set you apart from everyone else...And that is true beauty!
CS: Wow! You really are a nice guy!
DE:[Sees the limousine.] Is that your ride!?!
CS: Oh, yes! You see...My older brother worked as a chauffeur for sometime...But times have been hard on us...My little sister actually was about to apply too...But was afraid to be rejected…
DE:[Looking through TERRA's windows. Seeing their eyes] Woah! The three of you must be blessed with the eyes of gods! Please! I'd wish to properly meet you all!
[The three of them step out of TERRA.]
CG:[Shaking Everlue's hand] Nice to meet you sir! My name's Lincoln! Lincoln Grimes!...I wish I were wearing something a little less...Tattered...But I put my sisters appearances above my own…
DE:[Shaking Clay's, or should I say, Lincoln's hand] I respect a man willing to sacrifice for the needs of his sisters![Looking at his coat.] Well...That's a fancy looking coat! Any particular reason you didn't sell it to help yourselves on these bad times!?!
Lincoln Grimes: I was about to...Many times over...But my sisters begged me not to!...It's all we have of our parents…
DE: Oh, my!...I'm sorry for your losses...What kind of leather is it made of!?! I've never seen leather such as this!
LG: That would be because it's made from the hide of a Freesian Lion's pelt! Our father managed to kill one and make a coat from it's hide…
DE: Well I can see why you didn't sell it! It's absolutely priceless! I believe it's one of the most rare and expensive S-Class treasures known to man![Looks back at Claire.] I'm sorry! I realized I didn't get your name!
CS: Of course! It's Cassandra! Cassandra Grimes! But my siblings call me “Cassie”...
DE: Nice to put a name to a pretty face![Looks to see Terra holding Griffin.] And who might you be young lady!?!
Terra:[Pretending to be shy] T-Tanya!...Tanya Grimes…[Holding Griffin up.] And this is Garfield! He's our pet!...He likes lasagna and hates Mondays…
DE: A creature after my own heart...Now! Let's give you the grand tour! I'd never thought I'd get two maids AND a butler!...
EDS: Oh, thank you kind sir!
Griff:[Telepathically to the others] (We are about to infiltrate the Mansion...Stand by TERRA for an all clear to enter…)
Hap: That's good to know…
LH:[Sobbing]
ND: Just couldn't do it, huh…
LH:[Weeping] I tried! But that idiot wouldn't know beauty if it bit him in the behind!
Hap: Uh huh…
LH:[Bawling] This stinks!
Hap: Now what do we do!?! Should we wait for their signal!?! Or just break in?