Diamonds Are Expensive
You look down at your tray.
"Hey, what's this?" you ask.
"Huh?" says Marascanger.
"Come over here and take a look at this," you say to him.
He walks over to where you are. You point to a spot in your tray. Then, as he bends his neck to look closer, you grab a handful of the stuff and fling it in his eyes.
"AAAAGGGHH!!!" he screams, "YOU BASTARD!!!"
He staggers around the room.
"I'M BLIND!!!" he yells. He crashes into a wall, staggers away then falls over in a heap. He starts scraping the shit from his eyes. You throw more at him, but miss.
Then he stands up. His eyes are open.
"Oh, now you're for it buddy!" He reaches into his pocket and heaves out a massive pistol.
The Big Lead Gun.
Everything starts to happen in slow motion (because it looks cool on camera). His finger starts to tighten on the trigger. Your eyes open wide. You start to dive to the side. Marascanger pulls the trigger.
"N-N-N-N-O-O-O-O-O-OOOOO!!!" you scream in a super-low-down-and-very-very-slow voice.
You watch the bullet fly towards you. The air ripples as it passes through its journey.
Everything is going so slowly that it's practically still. You are still screaming the never-ending "N-N-N-N-O-O-O-O-O-OOOOO!!!" The bullet comes towards you. It's going to miss. It has to miss. If it hits you will die and it will be a really lousy movie.
Yes. It's going to miss. It's not going to hit. It can't. It's going to miss. It's going to-
*PHFFT!*
"AAAGGGHHH!!!" you scream as you fall to the floor. That bastard just about blew your foot off! Blood is pumping out of the bloody stump.
"You bastard! You total bastard!" you yell at him.
He takes aim again. This is it. This is the end. He pulls the trigger.
Well, that went well, didn't it?
*BOOM!*
"Hey, what's this?" you ask.
"Huh?" says Marascanger.
"Come over here and take a look at this," you say to him.
He walks over to where you are. You point to a spot in your tray. Then, as he bends his neck to look closer, you grab a handful of the stuff and fling it in his eyes.
"AAAAGGGHH!!!" he screams, "YOU BASTARD!!!"
He staggers around the room.
"I'M BLIND!!!" he yells. He crashes into a wall, staggers away then falls over in a heap. He starts scraping the shit from his eyes. You throw more at him, but miss.
Then he stands up. His eyes are open.
"Oh, now you're for it buddy!" He reaches into his pocket and heaves out a massive pistol.
The Big Lead Gun.
Everything starts to happen in slow motion (because it looks cool on camera). His finger starts to tighten on the trigger. Your eyes open wide. You start to dive to the side. Marascanger pulls the trigger.
"N-N-N-N-O-O-O-O-O-OOOOO!!!" you scream in a super-low-down-and-very-very-slow voice.
You watch the bullet fly towards you. The air ripples as it passes through its journey.
Everything is going so slowly that it's practically still. You are still screaming the never-ending "N-N-N-N-O-O-O-O-O-OOOOO!!!" The bullet comes towards you. It's going to miss. It has to miss. If it hits you will die and it will be a really lousy movie.
Yes. It's going to miss. It's not going to hit. It can't. It's going to miss. It's going to-
*PHFFT!*
"AAAGGGHHH!!!" you scream as you fall to the floor. That bastard just about blew your foot off! Blood is pumping out of the bloody stump.
"You bastard! You total bastard!" you yell at him.
He takes aim again. This is it. This is the end. He pulls the trigger.
Well, that went well, didn't it?
*BOOM!*
