Horoscopic

Good idea. I've had enough. Some higher power is punishing me for faking an illness, or maybe just for getting so involved in this whole horoscope nonsense.

Ahhh, I get it. The Leo prediction said that "someone" would come to me. That "someone" was a virus. How cute. I shall take it home and name it Fuffles and it shall be my very own.

Ugh. You win, Shirley: horoscopes are real, and they wish us nothing but ill.