Merry Christmas, Prepare To Die

You sneak up on the man with a nearby baseball bat. You tiptoe towards him slowly, but he hears you coming.

You attempt to swing the bat at him, but he grabs it and breaks it over his knee. He shoves one end of the broken bat through your chest.

"Oh man," the criminal sighs, "I was scared for a minute. Almost had a heart attack, there. You, however, are done."
End Of Story